Do I take it as interest or boredom?

[Blushingm]

I've been chatting to someone since beginning of December.

He's younger than me and I think quite nice looking. I love his wit and his sharp sense of humour - we seem to bounce off eachother

We are meeting up this week

We text pretty much all day and if he's on night shift and I've got no work we chat all night

I keep questioning whether he is actually interested or he's just bored or just wants sex? Seems a lot of effort for just sex but then I really don't know?

Background is I pick terrible men who I make all the effort with and I always think I'm not worth peoples attention

Aw bless you. You don't know if you will hit it off when you meet in the flesh, you might not. Keep it light to start with and don't tell him all your business straight off. If you have things in common, build on that.

Most of us have to kiss a few frogs before finding 'the one'.

See how it goes then come back and tell us all about it.

Good luck!

You're right I don't know if we'd hit it off in person - I really hope we do

I just don't trust my judgement and I find it hard to tell if people really are interested or not

Thanks

Are you looking to settle down start a family?

@Blushingm

You're right I don't know if we'd hit it off in person - I really hope we do

I just don't trust my judgement and I find it hard to tell if people really are interested or not

Thanks

I hope you do too but keep it friendly for a while and play it by ear.

Speaking all day every day is a huge investment of your time.

He could be completely different in the flesh. Don't tell him TOO much about your personal life, you need to meet him and make a judgment based on your gut reaction and how you get along face to face.

It sounds like he is interested though. If it was only about sex it would be pretty obvious from how the conversation was going. Is it all about sex?

Hi, no it's not all about sex - it's about pretty much everything. Work, music, food, funny stuff, all sorts!

I checked my phone and we were on the phone 7 hours on Thursday night, 4 on Wednesday and still text all day too

That’s a really big investment of time! It sounds like you get on well, I just hope it translates to real life for you when you meet. Good luck!

I think that’s a crazy investment of time for so long before meeting someone who might turn out to be really repellent in the flesh.

Sounds pretty intense. Be wary that you may be being lovebombed.

It seems like a lot of effort if it was only sex he was after and the fact he messages you while at work aswell if he knows you're free sounds like it's more than just boredom.

It is impossible to tell though, definitely see how it goes face to face and if you still bounce off eachother.

Don't put too much pressure on it though, when you meet up - if it goes well, great, have a second date! If not, don't worry about it, at least you had fun.

For what it's worth though, this is how the messaging was with my partner when we first met (we did meet in person though but messaged for a while after) and we're still together over 4 years later

So he is at work at night. Is night time when you would normally sleep?

If he's chatting on the phone when he's supposed to be working I would see that as an unacceptable waste of work time , I would see that as a Red flag I'm afraid

@captainmajor has a very good point.

You’d be wary of the lovebomb. Not all manipulative individuals are Narcissist’s but they do tend to come on strong.

Focus more on your needs and requirements. You can’t know if he wants more without him getting to know you in person.

You won’t know if he wants more if decide to become Intimate early. I caution giving your beautiful body over to someone who you’re not sure is interested. You can’t know if someone is really interested unless you make sure you protect and celebrate your own interests.

If you are looking for a relationship a man will be interested in becoming intimate when you are ready. He won’t protest that you need more time because he will want more time either way.

It’s not effort to phone and text. Don’t accept crumbs for the full bounty you posses.

You’re wondering this without meeting which is a bit of a sign you need to make sure you decide what your boundaries and expectations are. Stick to them.

If you wanna know the real deal, don’t give your body to him. It’s not a game it’s protection early from the manipulation that could follow.

If he gets mad,angry, put out, you know the score. Thank god you didn’t give him this part of you.

If he is gentleman and treats you kindly, enjoying the most important parts of you… report back! Because I want a happy story that is all yours!

Lastly, you are interesting and worthy of interest. That’s a fact id bet my life on.

Enjoy your date!

@JustKittenAround what a lovely, balanced and very thoughtful reply! Thank you!

He does security so sometimes it's just sitting watching cameras or patrolling etc so he chats as he goes. If he's doing an event of something I get the odd text during the shift and a call when he's on his way home and when he's home