How does this work? ( On line dating related!)

[ratsratsratsagain]

Hi everyone,
I've been on line dating for a few months now and met quite a few guys and had lots of coffees and twice I've met one who I might like to see again.
With the first one ( Mr Handsome) he didn't get back to me after the date and eventually I sent him a message to say I'd enjoyed meeting him and didn't hear anything further. So from that I decided he didn't want to meet up again.
I met another one yesterday. ( Mr Chatty) Our coffee date lasted 3 hours and we seemed to get on well. He gave me a hug as we left, said he'd like to see me again and we discussed when we'd be available and all seemed good.

I've not heard from him since. So do I leave it and assume he's not interested, wait a few more days, or message him? I haven't dated for quite a few years so I'm completely out of touch with how these things work nowadays!
Any advice would be useful. 🙏

@ratsratsratsagain I'm in the same boat. I work from home and See no one so old it is. I'm trying to sit it out. As soon a they get suggestive I block
Them.

Ghosting is part of dating now a day. It doesn't bother me. I'm happy to send. Friendly hi, it be nice to meet up again messages. If nothing comes back so be it.

It is full of blokes looking for quick hook up. I'm glad they show their cards early at least it saves wasting time.

I met 2 genuine lovely guys. But first one didn't see us together. And second one wasn't ready for something serious. I keep going though as I live in hope.

@ratsratsratsagain there's got to be some good ones surely lol

@ratsratsratsagain I’ve had a similar experience! Including one who I saw for a few weeks and then he decided he was missing the spark.

I’ve agreed to meet for a coffee with someone new on Friday but I am convinced he is going to flake on me. I won’t get my hopes up for the meeting actually happening until he is literally sitting in front of me. And then even if he says he wants to see me again, I won’t believe him until we are actually on a second meet! I’ve already learnt my lesson on that. I can’t believe I am so jaded after only doing it for 4 months.

@unicornsarereal72 I’ve had two so far who have quickly wanted to move to sexting after a day of messaging! So not even a hook up, which at least I might get something out of Seems romance really is dead

@Gettingonwithit12 I have had a few of those as well. Or those who want me to watch them
Masterbating. What is the world coming too

@unicornsarereal72 oh god I’ve had that kind offer too. What is wrong with them? It’s just gross, it is putting me off men tbh

I guess it's a thrill of 'flashing' someone who isn't expecting it. The internet makes it too easy. But I live in hope that there are genuine men out there.

Gettingonwithit12 I like your approach and I think I need to toughen up a bit!
People are flaky and strangely this was one if the things I chatted with my date about on Saturday. He assured me he wasn't flaky!
Oh well... I'll guess I'll keep going.

The overly sexual stuff is really off putting. I've put on my profile that I'm not interested in ONS or FWB situations but I don't think people read the profile!

News flash...I've just had a message saying he'd love to go for a walk this week. He said he's had a manic day at work. I'm stunned...but I'm going to try to keep calm and not assume anything until I actually see him!

Like @Gettingonwithit12 I've become very jaded. Lots of ghosting from guys who seemed really interested and countless guys looking for sexy chat. Some more clever at hiding it than others. Wasted 3 weeks on one guy because he cancelled a date as a we were moving too quickly in text and then because he was jumped on his way home from the cinema. Turns out he only ever wanted online wank fodder.

@Daydreamscometrue it’s just rubbish isn’t it. Feeling totally jaded tonight. One guy who has been super chatty for weeks, asking to meet up (but never actually committing to a date) has disappeared. Had agreed to meet a guy on Friday but he has also stopped messaging and so I assume it’s not happening. Such timewasters! I wish I could stop feeling disappointed by it

@ratsratsratsagain

News flash...I've just had a message saying he'd love to go for a walk this week. He said he's had a manic day at work. I'm stunned...but I'm going to try to keep calm and not assume anything until I actually see him!

This sounds promising! Have you made a plan with him?

Gettingonwthit12 that's so annoying when people do that. It's like being on a rollercoaster with so many ups and downs it's exhausting. More downs than ups generally.

We are going for a walk on Thursday so I'm hoping that happens. We've had a few messages since yesterday so I'm very cautiously optimistic.

I feel I have to apologise ( again ) for my gender.
I've been OLD for a couple of years and met up with two nice women. Both have told me some stuff which is at best disrespectful and at worse criminal.
Im currently seeing a lovely lady who I met through OLD.
There are decent guys out there. Honestly.
Personally I found PoF pretty poor, with porn style pop ups so I went to Our Time.
A much better experience.
No advice as such ladies except don't lose heart.

@Shunter350 it’s good to know there are decent guys out there- I’ve no doubt there must be. These experiences are just so common though. It’s so disheartening- I’ve gone into this in good faith, and feel I have a lot to give, and just feel let down every time. I think I need to have a break from the process!

Taking a wee break maybe a good idea. At least it will give time for the dating site to refresh itself with new faces..
But please don't blame yourself.
I started out on my OLD adventure with eHarmony. The number of bots on that was ridiculous. My eyes were opened I can tell you, but I eventually met a nice woman who I chatted to and met with for over a year.
She was nice and I was keen but she lost interest for personal reasons.
So after PoF ( a disaster of a site ) I met someone on Our Time. Out of the blue almost.
It can happen so don't lose faith. x

[quote Gettingonwithit12]@Daydreamscometrue it’s just rubbish isn’t it. Feeling totally jaded tonight. One guy who has been super chatty for weeks, asking to meet up (but never actually committing to a date) has disappeared. Had agreed to meet a guy on Friday but he has also stopped messaging and so I assume it’s not happening. Such timewasters! I wish I could stop feeling disappointed by it[/quote]
I had the same before Christmas. Had a daily chat (few messages a day) with a guy who seemed nice for the whole week. We'd arranged a date for the following weekend. Then he stops messaging. I'm going to leave it be as it's just not happening.

I agree the ones that like you text back and chase
I’d assume no chemistry , delete and move onwards
It’s a brutal game !! Brutal
You need a thick skin and a few on the go chat wise to insulate

[quote unicornsarereal72]@Gettingonwithit12 I have had a few of those as well. Or those who want me to watch them
Masterbating. What is the world coming too [/quote]
OMG I would rather watch paint dry

Shunter350 thanks for giving us a glimmer of hope.
I get annoyed with the guys who say 'no drama'. I don't enjoy drama either but things happen in life that cause stress such as illness, problems with children, etc and they can't be avoided.
Also, loads of guys have dogs. Usually pretty big dogs that they describe as their best friend. I have 3 children and 2 cats so a big dog is not an ideal addition to my life. I don't dislike dogs but I know what a responsibility they are.
One guy I dated had a dog with serious anxiety issues so we couldn't leave the dog alone at either my house or his house so we had to drive and then leave the dog in the car. This meant in the summer we understandably couldn't leave him in the car at all and in cooler weather we had to be quick having a meal so the dog wouldn't get upset. It was exhausting. I know not all dogs have these problems but I am a bit wary of dogs now!