Is it normal to feel 2nd best all the time?

[DisneyBaby]

I feel like my husband prioritises and enjoys everything else over spending time with me.

He plays golf every Saturday, enjoys going out once a month sometimes more, is constantly on his phone to his mates and just generally doesn't seem that interested in spending quality time with me anymore.

He barely looks up from his phone when I talk to him, never suggests anything for us to do as a couple or as a family and even when I was crying and feeling low recently he didn't even come and hug me, he barely shows me any affection at all. He also doesn't pull his weight indoors and seems happy to just let me do the majority indoors. It just feels like he doesn't really love me anymore because why would he just leave me upset without consoling me and why would he walk all over me letting me do the housework etc if he really loved me?!

Thing is though 4/6 of my closest girl friends say their husbands/boyfriends are exactly the same. So is this just normal when you've been together for a long time, that they just take you for granted?!

We've been together 11 years, have a nearly 2 year old daughter and baby no 2 on the way.

He takes care of us financially but emotionally I feel like we're on different pages and I seem to come below golf, sports, mates, phone and I'm vying for his attention all the time...

I wonder why people like this are married. What do they think the point of being married is?

Did he change at some point or has he always been like this?

@BringOnTheOtherWorlders

Did he change at some point or has he always been like this?

He's always been bad with the housework, but with the affection and phone etc it does seem like he's got worse over time

Handhold here in the same boat. Its shit it really is. Also have a 3 year old and a 9 week old. Sick of feeling like me and the kids are last on the list

Same boat here too , Juana d used to be affectionate but now nothing … sorry no advice just letting you know you’re not alone

So sorry you're going through this. What I personally would do is stop picking up the household slack for him, and get on with my own life. Show him you value yourself and your own happiness even if he doesn't. You have worth. Find an activity to do once a week (art class, gym, yoga, whatever), schedule it in and have him take care of the kids while you go. Start putting more of the household responsibility on him and start living in a way that shows you value yourself and won't be stuck at home with an inattentive partner withering away.

That's what I would do, because I have no time for someone who's going to take advantage of me and not pull their weight.

That's really awful. No, I don't think that's 'normal' although clearly it can happen.

I think you need a straoght conversation with him. Point out all the things you've said. Tell him that isn't how you treat someone you love. That he seems to prefer his friends and hobbies over you. That you don't want to be with someone who doesn't care. See how he responds.

You don't have to live like that. It isn't something yuo expect after xx years of marriage.

It must make you feel terrible. Playing golf every Saturday? He should be spending time with his family