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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Heard neighbours arguing, not sure what to do..

29 replies

Toinfinityandbeyond3 · 22/01/2022 22:42

Heard my next door neighbours arguing, it was very audible and heard every single world.. There was a lot of swearing, but not verbal abuse towards each other, It almost became physical when one stood in the way of the other as they tried to leave and they were prevented, (it didn't become physical) and one of them started hysterically crying and sobbing, I'm not sure what to do.. As far as I'm aware as their next door neighbour, I've never heard any arguing or domestic abuse at all between them and they seem relatively happy. This is the first time in several years I've heard arguing.
I'm friends with both of them and they've been there for me through a rough time and done untold favours for me, I want to check they are both ok but don't want them to think I'm sticking my beak in and also don't want to embarrass them by saying I heard their argument. I also don't want them to apologise to me for hearing..
What should I do? Keep my beak out or send them a text tomorrow? I'm closer to one of them in the couple and wanted to say if they ever needed a place to go to have some space or to chat they can always knock on my door.
How should I handle it?

OP posts:
SirChenjins · 23/01/2022 09:19

Keep well out of it - it’s nothing to do with you.

Fluenty · 23/01/2022 10:18

@Octopi

If its the first time in years you have heard them argue and there was no indication of violence etc I would do and say nothing. Of course if it becomes frequent or if you hear/see something violent then report.
If it becomes frequent report??? To whom exactly??

Erm hello police the couple next door are having an argument, it’s respectful and there’s no verbal or physical abuse but I thought you should know, it’s the second one this year.

Come on, people fight. DH and I went through a rough patch last year, we did a lot of yelling, almost daily even, has never happened in 15 years, and we didn’t do it in front of the kids or at antisocial times. It lasted a couple of weeks due to some other issues (bereavement, financial concerns etc) and then we hit breaking point started to deal with it better and carried on.
If our neighbours who have known us for years had reported us for shouting ‘frequently’ I’d have been mortified, worried for my children and I’d have thought them to be horrible people.

Is it for you to decide how often and what level they’re allowed to argue at?

Cannot work out why pp want you to ask if they’re ok as well. It’s one argument. No wonder the divorce rate is so high if people think a relationship and person is crumbling after a single bad argument.

gsaoej · 23/01/2022 10:18

Absolutely keep out of it

Toanewstart22 · 23/01/2022 10:19

* Keep my beak out *

Unless it happens again

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