Alternatives to a wedding ceremony

[MindfulMummy]

Hi all.

Has anyone had or been to a humanist wedding or a commitment ceremony - for a straight couple in this specific instance - or similar ceremony? How was it?

We're looking for an alternative to a wedding - a service we would like to hold outdoors - not legally binding....

Any thoughts or ideas most welcome as I am not sure where to start. Thanks so much.

Yes, I attended one, was fine ... the marriage didn't last but I am sure that was nothing to do with the ceremony.

But what sort of 'wedding' do you want if it won't be legally binding, do you mean more of a 'commitment' ceremony? in which case why not get married?

I’ve been to a humanist wedding. Very touching and beautiful.

Yes, the couple got married at reg office, and had a humanist celebrant do an outdoor 'wedding' the next day.

It was lovely, really thoughtfully done, the talking bits which would be all religious in a church were lovely an personal. They had some readings that were very fitting for the couple and would most definitely not have been allowed in a church (I particularly remember a quite risqué poem!)

It was perfect, actually. Really really nice. Ever since I've thought I will have a humanist celebrant for any wedding / funeral / life even should I need to organise one.

outdoor weddings allowed where i live, very common as well as writing your own vows. totally legal to boot.

I'm an accredited humanist wedding* celebrant, OP. Happy to answer any questions you have.

(*funerals and naming ceremonies too)

Really helpful replies, thanks. Not getting married as don't want the legal bit for financial reasons but will go to a registry office at some point in the future. Nothing to do with not wanting to truly commit or whatever....

Lovely to hear that several of you have had really positive experiences of attending humanist ceremonies. The personalised element really appeals to us.

To the PP who is a celebrant (sorry, can't go back to thread to find your name) what sort of price do you charge for the ceremony? As it is not legally binding does it still have to be held in a particular place/with special permission? We'd like to have the ceremony in the woods. Thanks so much.

Yes, years ago. Friend had an outdoor ceremony where they made declarations to each other ( like their own vows) Someone read a poem, and there were musicians ( string quartet maybe) it was about 30 years ago. Then a party afterwards. They wanted some sort of formal declaration of being together but didn’t want to be married.
I heard something on the radio last week about alternate weddings —— hand tying ceremony was one.

Humanist wedding ceremonies can be held any where you choose, indoors or outside (as long as it's safe and legal, and you have the land owner's permission) so they are really personal to each couple. Woodland weddings are really lovely!

Each celebrant sets their own fee - it will depend where in the country you are, and the kind of ceremony you want to have, but broadly it might be between £500 - £1000. Your celebrant will work with you and your partner to create a ceremony which is totally unique and personal to you, and reflects the two of you as individuals and equals. They are totally inclusive,, and there is scope to involve children and other family members with a symbolic gesture like a hand fasting, or something that it is totally unique to you. They are the ideal solution when couples come from different traditions or heritages, as everyone feels welcome.

Here's a link so that you can see more about the ceremonies, and there is a Find a Celebrant feature - if you put in your location, you can see all the celebrants accredited by Humanists UK who work in your area.
humanists.uk/ceremonies/non-religious-weddings/

I'm really confused because I had a humanist wedding ceremony, but I am legally married?

Ahh ignore me, just read the above link and can see it's because I'm in Scotland, not England

Humanist marriages enjoy legal recognition in Scotland, Northern Ireland, Jersey, and Guernsey, but not yet in England and Wales.

Couples who have a humanist wedding in England or Wales will also need to attend a register office for the marriage to be legally recognised.

Thanks for confirming, @AttilaTheMeerkat.

And on that point - there is a debate in the Commons this week (Thursday 27 January) on legal humanist marriages for England and Wales. If you feel that there should be parity with Scotland and NI, you can write to your MP and ask them to attend the debate to speak in favour of humanist marriage. This link asks your post code and sets it up for you humanists.uk/what-you-can-do-to-help/urgent-take-action-humanist-marriage-debate-in-parliament/