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Original poster

Old crush now wants to date me now I’m in a relationship

15 replies

Relationship · 21/01/2022 22:17

When ever I was single so was this other guy we got on very well but he was never ready for anything more. so nothing ever happened I always wanted more but said I would only go further if it wasn’t friends just with benefits. We stayed friends but I always wanted more while younger. We speak time from time but hadn’t in a while. I’m now in a relationship and we had a catch up he’s now Said how he regrets not ever properly taking me out and that if I ever become single again he would love to take me out but respects I’m in a relationship. Is it normal to feel a bit thrown off I love my partner and would never leave him but I guess the old 20 year old me is remembering the feelings I had for him and how much we have in common. I guess I just want to let my thoughts out to someone

OP posts:
shivermetimbers77 · 21/01/2022 22:24

Ah, It’s the old ‘now you’re with someone else, I want you’ trick.. but if you dumped your boyfriend he’d be back to his usual flakey self and ‘not ready for a relationship’ , for sure! My ex crush was exactly the same! Over time I learned to ignore his pining messages every time I started seeing someone. Try to just enjoy the feeling that you are currently ‘the one that got away’ and leave it at that.

Jk24 · 21/01/2022 22:24

He wants you because he can't have you

whatnumber · 21/01/2022 22:28

Don't let him get to you and play mind tricks.
As above he wants you now he can't have you.
Concentrate on your new partner and give him an extra big cuddle tonight for being the man that did want you and treated you right.

Original poster
Relationship · 21/01/2022 22:30

I won’t let him get to me I replied saying don’t ask me again unless I’m 90 and widowed

OP posts:
Jk24 · 21/01/2022 23:13

I wouldn't reply, I'd block

ChargingBuck · 21/01/2022 23:21

he’s now Said how he regrets not ever properly taking me out and that if I ever become single again he would love to take me out but respects I’m in a relationship.

That's not respect.
That's boundary-testing.
He's pissed off you are no longer pining for him, & wants to regain the upper hand.

If he respected your relationship, or you, he wouldn't have come out with this bullshit - he'd have kept it respectfully to himself.

He doesn't want to 'properly take you out' btw. He's had 20 years to decide to do that, & only springs it on you now your have a partner. He wants to shag you - FWB, never mind your partner.

Well done for posting to get it all out & then straight in your head.
Now block the game-playing twat, & have a lovely weekend with your partner.

Original poster
Relationship · 21/01/2022 23:38

Thank you all this is just what I needed I just needed to tell someone who wasn’t a friend how I was feeling also having a bit of a low time and any attention seems to be good attention

OP posts:
Pinkbonbon · 21/01/2022 23:39

He's a headfucking twat.

As the first poster said, he would not want a relationship with you again the second you split with your bf.

This person is not a friend op. He is an egotistical, self serving wanker who needs attention 24/7 at other peoples expense.

I'd actually block the knobhead tbh.

Fatherliamdeliverance · 21/01/2022 23:48

Yeah, he's just stirring the pot to see if you're still interested. There was no point him saying that, knowing you're unavailable, than to try and reinstate himself under your skin. Nothing strange about feeling a bit thrown but well done for not entertaining him.

shivermetimbers77 · 22/01/2022 00:32

I like your reply to him OP, well done!

Derelicthome · 22/01/2022 00:40

I don’t think what this guy has done is particularly bad if you’re only in a new relationship and he honestly sees you as his person that he let get away.
You only live once and all that.

GiantHaystacks2021 · 22/01/2022 00:46

Yeah he'll dump you as soon as he gets you.
Ignore and block.

Lampzade · 22/01/2022 07:05

@Derelicthome

I don’t think what this guy has done is particularly bad if you’re only in a new relationship and he honestly sees you as his person that he let get away. You only live once and all that.
He has had years to realise that she is the one who got away. Funny how he now realises this when Op is in a steady relationship He doesn’t really want the Op, he just wants his ego massaged.
donesomethingterrible · 22/01/2022 10:23

OP you do need to block him and well done for telling him straight.

I have recently started a thread on here as I am in a horrific situation at present due to an old flame from when I was 20 getting back in touch. He wasn't single when we met, then he became single and I wasn't. He begged me to leave bf at the time but I didn't entertain it.
20 years later we are both in relationships with children and I have got in way too deep. It's the worst thing I have ever, ever done. Please don't go down this road - our innocent "friendly" catch up chats have led to me being left heartbroken that I can't have him and unable to focus on my doomed marriage.

Original poster
Relationship · 22/01/2022 20:14

Thanks he’s gone yes it’s shame to loose a friendship but with him wanting more we can no longer be friends

OP posts:
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