I've just lost it.... support needed.

[starynight63]

As the title says, I've just lost it completely 😫

A little back story, 2.5 years ago we lost our DD shortly after birth, 1 yr ago we had second child. 6 months later DP walked out and later found out he had been having affair. Since finding out he wanted to sort things out, I had no backbone or strength and so desperately wanted my family back together and carried on. Since then he's been nothing but hurtful, emotionally abusive, financially abusive (I'm a SAHM)
Lately his drinking has been excessive again, he's started smoking again which he knows I don't allow near DC which means come the evening he doesn't help with bedtimes or night wakings (which are every few hours)
Tonight I'd had enough of it and told him to stop smoking and get showered so he could help with childcare to which he said no I had to do it. So I told him to go, if he wasn't going to stop smoking to look after his child then he could go. I've finally had enough, I shouted, I cried, I smashed a plate in the sink I was so mad. I never get mad like that, I feel like it's all coming out.
I've allowed myself to be treated like a doormat, I know I have, and I have such little self worth I'd probably do it again. But my poor little baby deserves more, I'd go to the end of the earth to protect her.
Please stop me from going back, have I made a mistake? I can't stop crying I just don't know how my world can get any worse :(

Oh there are lots of stories of people who went on to much better and brighter lives after leaving a poor partner.

You are 28 and still have many many years to build and enjoy a wonderful life for you and DC. It's actually quite exciting when you think of it. It's there for you to explore.

I was a decade or so older than you when I had my 'enough' moment. And although divorce is a tough tough process, I never regretted it once. Life is good.

@Shunter350

I can't relate to being a mother or a female. But I am a human being. A better life awaits you without this man. It won't be easy at first but you'll look back in a couple of years and thank god you did it. Good luck and be strong. You will survive this.

Thank you so much, these messages are going to keep me strong!

I've woken up feeling surprisingly lighter than I thought I would. I've cleaned the kitchen (ooops to the glass and China around the place) had breakfast and now I'm getting ready for a day out with youngest DD.
We have a holiday booked for just over 3 weeks, first time flying with the LO and will be alone with 2 DC abroad but there is no way I'm letting them miss this. Has anyone holidayed as as a lone parent with 2 DC? We're all inclusive and in a lovely resort so im thinking even if we just stay in the hotel I can do this!!

Slightly shitting myself though.

Thank you again.. I'm re reading all these uplifting messages to give me strength.

I haven't but we met a man on our holiday in November who was alone with his 2 children. We chatted to him round the pool and even ate with him one night. You'll be fine and will meet people :)

You didn't lose it. You finally said "enough". Time to draw a line in the sand and stop letting yourself be treated so poorly. You can do this. It'll be hard but you'll get through it and come out the other end stronger. And without the deadweight. Good luck.

You definitely haven't made a mistake.

Quite the opposite.

Of course you can do it. Not just the holiday but being a single parent (you’ve been doing it anyway).

If he was financially abusive, I would contact CMS and put in a claim. I would also, see what benefits you are entitled too and contact WA to chat about his abuse.

Just keep this resolve, because he probably will try to Hoover you by love bombing, guilt, anger and threats of suicide.

Look up the abusers script.

BTW, an all inclusive is great.

They usually have a kids club, so maybe putting the older DC for a few hours may help during nap times etc.