Feeling pressure to stay because of the fallout and mess of leaving

[Krush]

I'm not sure where to even start. I'm so confused.

My marriage is...okay. But I've realised lately that I just can't picture it lasting. The only way I can explain it is I don't know if I love my husband or not. It's such a weird feeling. Sometimes I think we're really happy and then others I feel like it's not right.

There are a few little issues with our relationship but nothing huge, nothing that would explain it properly if I left.

I just don't know what I want. And that's not right surely after only 2 years married?

I sometimes feel like the only thing keeping me here is the pressure over what would happen if I left. It's two fold really. Financially I'd be screwed, I'm a SAHM. I don't want to lose my home.

Secondly, I know so many people would be upset with me. He would be devastated, our son, my parents, his parent and so on... And I don't have any solid reason to explain it.

Thirdly, I love being at home with my DS. I would be so sad to lose that. I know that's really selfish.

Sometimes I wonder if I can just carry on as we are forever. I'm not unhappy all of the time, or even most of the time. I don't dislike his company. But I don't feel satisfied if that makes sense? Like this is the love of my life. I don't like having sex, ever really.

Where did all this start with you?. Were you under pressure to get married?.

It may be an idea for you to go to counselling on your own to discuss this issue.

Those people are not married to your H nor are living within this relationship - you are. You only need to give your own self permission to leave and you can leave for any reason you choose. If its not enough its not enough; let each other go.

A house is but bricks and mortar and your home anyway is not a happy one really is it?. Hopefully the two of you as your DS's parents could go onto co-parent amicably and without rancour towards each other.

I second the counselling suggestion. To work through your feelings and help clarify them.

When it comes down to it, your family (assuming they are a loving family) will want what's best for you. They'll want you to be happy. If you were my DD I'd be saying 'we'll support you whatever you do. Just take your time to be certain it's the right thing so you don't regret it later on'. Which is where the counselling comes in.