70th Birthday Party

[Morag57]

I got married 5 years ago and my husband was 70 in 2021 and I have been organising a surprise 70th birthday party for him since 2019 but because of COVID have had to cancel three times. It is now happening in March and all he knows is that we are going out with a few friends for a meal. Originally it was for 80 guests but half of them are not attending now and I have 40 guests. I have booked and paid for the hotel, band, balloons, cake, limo, the guests have all booked rooms in the hotel and he has told me last night that if I have organised anything for his birthday that he will not attend and that I should cancel everything I have booked. I am devastated, and don’t know what to do. I can’t cancel anything. He says he is worried about money but if I cancel I will lose all the money I have spent. I am so down and will NEVER be able to see any of his friends again if I have to cancel this.

I hope you get to the bottom of it Op.

Could he be in financial difficulty?

@Morag57

I just wanted to give him something special with all his friends and family around him, what’s wrong with that?

Does he actually like surprises?

Whatever your reasoning and your gratitude towards him, is it something he would have actually liked?

Thank you all for your help and advice with this situation. After a horrible weekend I have had to tell him everything about the surprise party which is now not a surprise! Once it was explained to him that this was organised back in 2019 and had to be postponed twice already because of COVID, and not something that I had just started organising, and that the guests had all already booked rooms he has now agreed to attend. So everything is now out of the bag and he now seems to be happy to go to the party. This has been an extremely stressful and awful experience for me especially since I suffer from stress and anxiety, but it is all sorted now. Thanks again to everyone who offered your comments to help, much appreciated.

Phew! So your money didn't go down the drain and he is actually prepared to be positive about it - not a bad result? Hope you will be able to enjoy it yourself without your anxiety kicking in too much.