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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Has anyone's ex ever had long term supervised contact ordered by the family court?

5 replies

Shepley54333 · 20/01/2022 22:44

Part way through proceedings, we're at section 7 stage. I strongly suspect that cafcass are of the mind there is no safe way to progress contact to unsupervised, owing to father's domestic violence perpetrated towards me and several findings of fact that he was also abusive to our child. He's had supervised contact for over a year in a contact centre. Our judge has left it to cafcass to decipher how contact can progress. My ex is well beyond the realms of any parent craft class or domestic abuse perpetrator programme. He does not accept he perpetrated abuse and completely blames me, he's repeatedly told different professionals that I'm mentally unstable and I'm a danger to our DD.
The first thing I was asked by cafcass was if I thought contact should remain supervised.. They also asked me a number of very negative questions about him also and expressed because DD is so young that they wouldn't take her wishes and feelings into account, even if contact is appearing to go well..
My question is, can the family court even order long term supervised contact and if so, by what means as currently I'm stuck footing half the cost of the contact centre.
During the safeguarding stage, cafcass stated if interim contact was ordered and findings were made against him and he maintains his position, then there is no safe way to progress contact.
We are now in that situation.

OP posts:
Soopermum1 · 21/01/2022 12:46

Bumping for you OP, I'm interested to hear as well

Hen2018 · 21/01/2022 15:35

I’ll also be interested to hear. My ex was in a cycle of 6 months in a contact centre at the end of which he was judged to have “proved himself”. He would then have unsupervised contact which was a failure then back into a contact centre for 6 months...

MakeItRain · 21/01/2022 20:49

Yes they can do it if you could both agree to another person supervising the contact. It's a big ask of that person but it means it doesn't cost anything. Is there anyone at all who could do this? A relative or a friend?

Charlywarly2020 · 04/11/2022 22:11

I am in a similar situation. My ex has a long history of violence including being detained for robbery and 11 other arrests for DV. I am currently in the process of going through court and awaiting a fact finding hearing. The judge has ordered interim contact at a contact centre supervised but this hasn’t started yet. The entire process fills me with dread as one day this man will get to see my daughter on his own and who knows what will come of it - and oh yeah of course he uses drugs. The man was arrested for stabbing me in the head but still he’s allowed contact with a defenceless 2 year old. Why should men even be allowed contact when they are like this?!

SchoolofHardKnocks · 05/11/2022 06:04

OP - firstly, big hug. I’m so sorry to hear about what you’re going through.
sevondly, I’m wondering if Childfirst by Women’s Aid can help? Or maybe the National DA helpline or NSPCC’s helpline? Xx

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