Confusing work crush

[Shipla772]

Hello guys,

So I have had a crush on a guy I work with for a year now and a few things happened where we kissed and exchanged messages. He hinted to me he was seeing someone else but continued as if he was single which I don’t know if he said because he was nervous as he seemed to be when he said it. But fast forward he still flirts with me at work. I’ve backed off now as it’s the right thing to do. But I jus don’t know why he’s continually flirting with me if he said he’s seeing someone 😔

Because he can.

He's enjoying it: it makes him feel good. Just like it does you.

The only reason you find this confusing is that you're assuming that he's a good upright moral man of integrity.

Just because you fancy him doesn't mean he's nice.

Well, he’s enjoying the attention / knowing he has an admirer. That’s why.

It was a bit of a shitty thing for him to do to progress the flirting to messages/kissing then “hint” to you he’s seeing someone and I’d see that as a red flag. To be honest, it sounds like you see it as a red flag too so bear that in mind with things, going forward

I wonder if his nerves might be him testing the waters to see if you’d still continue even though he’s just implied he’s not available. Maybe it wasn’t nerves, maybe it was an adrenaline rush for him (how many women can he pull after he’s told them he’s seeing someone). Amazing ego-boost for him.

Bleaughh, that could just be me being unbelievably cynical though.

I think you’ve done the right thing backing off. If he says anything just let him know it’s because he’s not available, and take it from there.

It is horrible though, having a bit of a thing for someone and having the feeling it can’t go anywhere.

@DatingDinosaur you’re right 😭

Because he is a weak, insecure asshat? He has now (in his mind) “told” you that he’s already attached and he’s waiting to see if you will be his side piece. The answer to that is always, inevitably, definitely no (or fuck right off, which ever suits) . Don’t go there op, you deserve to be someone’s everything, not just his bit on the side.

It’s just sad that all he sees is me as someone to have sex with and nothing more and I have to see him on a daily basis 😭

Are you shagging him?
Stop.

@AnotherSillawithanS no I’m not shagging him but he has implied he only wants sex

As my mother would say, let him roll his own.