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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

When (how) do we tell (my) in-laws that we're moving away?

5 replies

minouminou · 27/12/2007 20:38

I wanted to do it as soon as the flat went on the market, DP is faffing and delaying, as they'll be upset.
We'll be moving from Oxford to Saddleworth, and in ILs are in Chichester.
They're mid 60's, still working, v fit and healthy (FIL in particular, as he's never out of the gym).
Anyway....flat's been on market for 2 weeks now (not much doing, due to time of year), but this'll change come january.
I'm one of these who doesn't prevaricate about telling people things like this, as, were the shoe on the other foot, I'd not appreciate being kept in the dark, and also because i just don't like keeping things like that to myself.
DP thinks they'll wig out, as they'll never see DS (only GS), as the time is coming that they'll not want to make the journeys, but on the other hand, we'll have a bigger place and they can stay for a weekend or longer.
They don't see him that often anyway, as MIL works at weekends a lot.
Also, DP was gonna call them tonight and tell them, but has changed his mind as it's the anniversary of his brother's death 8 years ago, so he feels it'll be a double whammy.
he wants to leave it until the place is sold, whereas i think that really does take the cake.
They're coming up on sat, and i've said if they drop more than 2 hints (I think they know already TBH), then we tell them there and then.
Wow, this is a bit long, and i bet i've left details out, but i'm wondering what the best course is.
i'll be looking at this thread over the evening for input and to answer any q's, as i 'll have overlooked something!
thanks, guys.

OP posts:
pooka · 27/12/2007 20:41

NO way should you wait for the flat to sell. THat would be really rude IMO. Much better to get things out in the open, and involve them with your plans. Do you have a house lined up in Saddleworth? You could try and get them to join in the excitement. And really sell the additional space for guests.

minouminou · 27/12/2007 20:45

I know....i went spare when he suggested that!
We've put an offer in on a house, yes.
Knowing them, they won't get excited....they were trying to get us to move to chichester (i think my answer was "isn't that where people go to die?" (don't flame me, i was being flippant)).
I'm half tempted to just get on the phone now, but DP's adamant that it should come from him.

OP posts:
pooka · 27/12/2007 21:19

I think your dp is building this up into more than it should be! It's in danger of becoming a bigger issue than necessary.
Even if they don't get excited, at least if they're told quickly it'll remove the "but you didn't tell us" upset emotion.

minouminou · 27/12/2007 22:26

tell me about it
he's so worried about upsetting them that he's gonna make it worse by leaving it until it's beyond the bounds of decency
thing is, though, his dad's a raging passive aggressive and will really turn on the (not water, but you get what i mean) works

OP posts:
pooka · 27/12/2007 22:27

Oh much better to get it over and done with then.
Goooood luck. Just think bright and breezy.

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