Haven't met boyfriends friends in 18 months

[workitoutagain]

I've met all of his family and a few colleagues. His friends are predominantly living in his home village.
With restrictions, he hasn't been able to go home bar a number of occasions over the past two years.
There have been opportunities where he could have organised a night for us all to meet but as we only see me another eow, we tend to spend it together and if we have socialised it has been with my family and friends.
He is now back living in his home village but is staying with family while he waits for his house purchase to close.
Again, he doesn't have a permanent base for the last few months but I feel he could have organised something to introduce me and me to them.
He has only met them twice for drinks in the last few years, for context.
I'm beginning to feel like a secret although he assures me that they know about me and we will meet up soon when his house purchase is closed.
I have heard him casually chat about use to his friends on the phone.
Am I being pushy.

Kindly, yes you are.

He's introduced you to all of his family - and has told his friends on the phone about you. He's only seen his friends twice in a few years...it's hardly like he's out drinking with them every fortnight and not introducing you. They know you exist.

Once his house purchase is done and he has a base in the area you can stay, and things with COVID are more normal then I'm imagine you'd get a chance to meet them.

He has only met them twice for drinks in the last few years, for context.

He's barely seen them and you think you should have met them already? You're being ridiculous. Pushy is saying it lightly.

Yes you are. I've been with my partner for over 2 years and we live together and there's still friends and family on both sides that we haven't met yet, mainly because circumstances haven't allowed, but his know about me and mine know about him, it's not that big a deal. We've met the really important people, like close family and that's all that matters.

We have been together a similar time.
I've only met my partner's friends when they have come to his house while I have been visiting. No arranged introductions, why would there be? He hasn't met any of my friends. We haven't met each other's family. It doesn't matter.

My Boyfriend is a bit like this. We've been dating just under 2 years. It took over 18 months before he introduced me to his friends and I've only met some of them once. I met his parents and children a lot quicker.
I think it is a combination of Covid restrictions - his situation (he was living with his parents when we first met - now has his own house) and also - just the way he is - he doesn't meet up with his mates himself that often anyway.
I wouldn't read too much into it to be honest.

Yes you are being pushy. You know you're not a secret, and he isn't seeing them much at all, so there's no reason to be concerned about meeting them? Why are you so keen to do so? It's OK to have separate friends, you don't have to adopt them as your friends too.

If he was seeing them every week / going to parties and not inviting you, then it would be unusual after 18 months, but under the circumstances you've described, perfectly normal. Is there a reason you want to meet them? Do you have some concerns that are making you worry about this?

Considering you've met his family, I'm not sure you actually need to meet his friends. I mean, I get that you maybe need to the once so that you can be sure he had mentioned you. But considering even he has barely seen them as of late, I don't think it's an issue that you haven't.

Have you being struggling with insecurity issues or low self esteem? Or is there something else about this relationship that is making you feel insecure in it?

I've met my boyfriend's family several times but I haven't met his friends because he's only seen them when I've been with my kids. It's just worked out that way. Because of covid he's only met a few of my friends too. But everyone knows that we're a couple.

If he hardly sees those friends, I don't think it's that important.

You've been together 18 months. Where is the relationship going?

Not to low self esteem but I'm
Sick of seeing list after list of suggested friends, mostly female, single women on my social media who are friends of his who I've never heard of, whose photos he likes.I don't know where I stand in his life and at the moment feel compartmentalised.
I've never seen anything inappropriate written on line but I'm pretty sure that these are ex on line dating dates that he just added and interacts by liking their photos( not sleazy) now and again.Why have them as friends? Why are they
appearing on my feed?

@workitoutagain

Not to low self esteem but I'm Sick of seeing list after list of suggested friends, mostly female, single women on my social media who are friends of his who I've never heard of, whose photos he likes.I don't know where I stand in his life and at the moment feel compartmentalised. I've never seen anything inappropriate written on line but I'm pretty sure that these are ex on line dating dates that he just added and interacts by liking their photos( not sleazy) now and again.Why have them as friends? Why are they appearing on my feed?

Well, I think this is conflating two issues. Meeting his friends (feeling compartmentalised) and feeling insecure about who the single women he's never mentioned to you are.

Regarding meeting friends - it's been a pandemic, and he's hardly seen them himself. So not unreasonable that there hasn't been an opportunity to introduce you to them. Also, if he is between addresses and in the midst of a house purchase, socialising/introducing you is probably not at the top of his list. Have you tried explaining to him that you feel compartmentalised? He likely won't have realised what a big deal it is to you, and how it makes you feel. The fact he's introduced you to his family, and you've heard him mention you to friends on the phone means you certainly aren't a secret.

About the other women - even if they are ex-es or ex-dates, why does it matter? Are you worried he's cheating? I have on my social media men i dated briefly years ago, or old colleagues, or old friends from hobby clubs. I don't talk about them because they're not really friends or in my life anymore, but i like their posts on social media because well, it's just what you do/to be polite/maintain a low touch communication. Again, why not just ask him, who they are since they keep appearing on your news feed/suggested friends?

From what you've written, it doesn't seem like he's done anything wrong. Unless there's other reasons you have to believe he isn't serious about you, or cheating?

Maybe he doesn’t really have any, but feels embarrassed to say. My DH doesn’t have any friends to call up and go for a drink or a walk with.
When we got married his guests were blood relatives only. Mine were friends.

@sosickofthisshit

Yes you are. I've been with my partner for over 2 years and we live together and there's still friends and family on both sides that we haven't met yet, mainly because circumstances haven't allowed, but his know about me and mine know about him, it's not that big a deal. We've met the really important people, like close family and that's all that matters.

Same here. I’ve met quite a few of DP’s friends but he’s hardly met any of mine due to pandemic & just life really. It’s hectic. I also like seeing my friends alone occasionally so I can chat about him

So yeah… you’re being pushy.