Breaking up with him because he's a bartender

[blondewhoneedshelp]

I’m in a relationship with a man who has just become a bartender. I can’t sleep at night when he’s working. My anxiety, my insecurities, my expectation to be cheated on are at an all time high. I know it will sound pathetic but I don’t think I can stay with him, purely because of his job. I’m too insecure. Do you think I’ll regret giving up or do you think it’s wise to give me some peace? I haven’t stressed these concerns to him because I know they are my issues, not his.

In the kindest possible way, I think you may already know these insecurities are probably unreasonable already. Unless there’s a backstory about why he’s not trustworthy? Has he cheated before?

There’s nothing about serving people drinks or working in the evening that equals an increased likelihood of cheating.

But with that level of anxiety, I can’t see how you’ll be happy with this man. I guess only you can work out how to go forward.

You need to be single and work on yourself. You really aren’t in the right place for a relationship right now. You will both end up miserable.

It must be awful to be so wrapped up in insecurity op. Do yourself a kindness and see a counsellor, read some self help books, listen to some useful podcasts or whatever suits you best to build up your self esteem. You will be so glad you did.

You need therapy to address your anxiety and mental health issues and not be in a relationship with anyone atm.

www.mind.org.uk/

People can cheat or come into contact with flirtatious women in any job. Stop letting your insecurities ruin this.

You could spoil your relationship with your man, if you keep feeling anxious and insecure about the type of work he is doing as a Bartender.

When does a bartender have time to cheat though? I mean, he's behind the bar slaving away the whole night lol. I suppose some sado could hang about and try her luck for closing time but...I mean, does that even happen? Ive hardly ever seem anyone flirt with a bartender, let alone go home with one lol.

But anyway, as ppl have said, it sounds like you are not in a healthy place for a relationship right now and need to spend some time single.

I worked behind a bar when I was 19. It was exhausting! I didn't have the time or the inclination to flirt with anyone!

End it or you’ll end up ill with anxiety.

You would be breaking up with him because of your anxiety not his job. This isn't really qnything to do with his job. I have worked in offices for a long time. And worked in bars. If people want to cheat, they cheat. The job doesn't matter.

I think you should probably break up. Be single, deal with your issues then think about a relationship.

I worked in pubs for many years while going through a divorce. Yes I had lots of blokes trying it on with me (a few in a dangerous way) but I wasn't interested.

What makes you think your man would be interested?

I actually would be very hurt if I was him, to think you wouldn't trust me.

I was a barman for 4 years. I never felt any particular inclination to cheat during that job or any other job, nor did opportunity somehow present itself more often in that job. Yes I encountered more drunk women than the average person, as you would expect, but by and large they were usually more annoying than flirtatious. If your partner is inclined to cheat it won’t really matter what job he’s in.