feeling really down, dont know why dh bothers with me just now

[iggles]

i suppose everyone feels like this just now with it being the festive season but i am so bloody fat at the moment and it is coming between me and dh.

my bum has turned into a big mass of jelly that wiggles when i walk and my boobs are a very grotesqe 36g.

i have at least 2 stone to lose and just feel so down just now, dh is lovely and i know he fancies me like mad but i cant understand how he could possibly feel like this and it comes between us.

he wants sex everyday but i cant stand the sound of all my fat slapping against its self and my fat stomoch getting in the way all the time.

i know this will sound so trivial to everyone but it really is getting me down just now.

we go on holiday next week and are planning on doing loads of hill walking so that will be the start of my new regime.

i just wanted this all written down so that when i have weak moments i can come on and read this and hopefully it will give me the will power to continue.

Message withdrawn

Iggles my love, this is a confidence thing not a size thing. I am size 6 and still feel just the same way you do sometimes. It's not a trivial issue but you have to find a way to love yourself better and see what it is that your DH loves/fancies about you. By all means lose weight and exercise for your health but you are a lovable person anyway as your DH testifies.

i am 6'0 tall and a (big) size 16, as in i would be a 18 in some shops but i refuse to buy that size, so i only wear what 16's i can get into, which means i have very little clothes to wear on a day to day basis and i get depressed when i have to get dressed every morning as i know its the same things again.

i am obsessed with buying clothes in a size 14 (my ideal size) and i have hundreds of lovely clothes in my bedroom i cant get into.

i sound a bit loopy dont i

you sound like you have a marvellous figure to me! with your wonderful height you should be able to carry off that size no problem. have you thought about a new haircut or some new clothes/underwear or make up or something else to chirk you up a bit?

the exercise next week should give you a boost too.

how old is/are your dc?

Why do you refuse to buy clothes that fit you? What would happen if you bought an item that was size 18 or even size 20?

I have just been interviewed today for a local radio station on these issues, to be broadcast on New Year's Eve!- I work as a coach. My advice was- set yourself small goals. Don't try to lose 2 stones- lose 2lbs/1kg, every week and give yourself a realitic target- like 2 months to lose it all! Make small changes to your lifestyle- such as walking more- like you are- and eating healthily. Plan your shopping and menus so that you don't snack on rubbish.

Give yourself a small reward every week if you have 5 good days a week ( and I don't mean food as a reward!).

Keep a diary of your achievements, every day.

Most imprtantly, don't give up!

I am sure you are great anyway, and I'd give anything for more up top! 34A is my size!

"Why do you refuse to buy clothes that fit you? What would happen if you bought an item that was size 18 or even size 20?"

i have no idea, i have spent my whole life trying to be smaller, my mum was always on a diet and would always panic if she could not fit into a 14, i really hope i dont pass this onto my own daughters.

iggles- if you really want to be a size 14, and believe that is possible/realistic for your height,- what is stopping you achieving that?

over eating and lack of excercise.

i seem to have a eratic personality (sp??) i have days when i am really high and think i look fine so i eat what i want, then i have days when i am really down and i use food as a comfort.

Maybe if you went shopping and bought some clothes that you liked and that fitted you well regardless of what size they were you would feel less depressed than having a limited choice every morning. Could you give those clothes that are too small for you away to charity so they aren't in your wardrobe like a big presence? Then just promise yourself to buy clothes that fit you. You could always get rid of the too-big clothes once you lost weight.

You've answered your problem - you eat when you are down. Could you find some other way to behave when you feel down that doesn't involve eating? Maybe phone a friend, go for a walk, look at photos of the "slim" you? Can you define what makes you feeldown? If it's your wight, then the only answer is to tackle that. If it's other stuff- same answer- face up to the issues and tackle them too.

The big question is, do you really want to lose weight, or not? If yes, then you have to keep up the sensible eating and exercise long-term, not yo-yo all the time.