Ghosted after 5yrs..

[Lifelifelife4]

I’ve name changed for this. I’ve posted before but today I’m fuming. I need some sense knocking into me by you lot!
It maybe a bit outing but to be honest I haven’t done anything wrong so I’ll risk it.

Met a guy 5yrs ago. Amazing 1st 1.5yrs, I finally thought I’d found someone decent.
Talks of progression which later never happened, It was clear if I broached he’d sulk. We sorted and moved on. I am cross with myself for not seeing this for what it was. Life carried on & the majority has been very good.. until something he felt wasn’t to his way caused giving me the silent treatment. Sadly I always sorted it & for that I have wasted time on a man who doesn’t deserve me.

Skip to a couple of months ago. We were settled, no episodes, had been away and I (& so I assumed him) were very happy. Then he did something when back that was minor but hurtful. Rather than tell me why he gaslit me saying something completely untrue and upsetting making the situation far worse than it needed to be. I told him it was unacceptable..he left & I didn’t hear from him. Xmas and new yr then passed, no word from him so I told him to collect his things.
He calmly did asking me if I’d had a nice Christmas like nothing had happened?! and on leaving left me with a bombshell his parent is v poorly (this is true)

His family like mine are really sad & also confused. Clearly he hasn’t told them his reasons for his behaviour either. The worst bit is the fact in the past I’ve sorted issues and I know that’s the pattern he’s used to & I know I could sort this, I’m just not going to.

All the memories and life together just gone because he’s lost the ability to be a man & speak because he’s sulking? I feel so upset, cross, confused and annoyed at not only him but myself.
I have so much to say to him but I know it’s pointless. He’s acting like I never existed & meant nothing & that’s a hard pill to swallow.

Now the question is what do I do..block him & ignore the fact his parent is poorly? I feel sad for him because I’m a nice person & think it’s cruel he’s left me with this as knows I’ll be upset..What would you do?

If you are close to his parent, then go and see them, offer your support. It's not their fault their son is a wanker.

I would simply ignore the man from now on, he's probably found who he thinks is The One, and will back in touch when she kicks him into touch.

He doesn't sound like a nice person. Sulking and silent treatment is abusive.

Sorry I misread and thought you said he's a nice person. I would send a card or call the parent who is ill, depending on your previous closeness to them.

I can't tell if you want to resolve things with your DP or if you feel his sulking and lack of ability to communicate and treat you like an equal partner as you deserve , means that this is the end for your relationship. Ultimately you've broken up.

You can check in his parents as you have an independent relationship with them to him. A nice card or tel call might be something that settles you. (Don't get into any discussion about DO or your relationship, just ask how they are?)

So is this the end OP? It doesn't seem like he can give you what you want from a relationship. Some people are ultimately flawed and withdraw, when the going gets tough.

Do you want to be free to find a lovely man that is all in and adores you? There are kind and lovely men out there who would appreciate you far more.

Only you know and yanbu for getting fed up. If he doesn't talk to you and explain, then what is your relationship based on? It sounds far too rollercoaster to be healthy for you. That's great for teenager angsty relationships aka Romeo and Juliet but not when you get older and realise that's a whole load of bunkum!

Block him. Check in with his parent directly if you feel you can do

You posted the same post recently.
You are going to get exactly the same advice now.
What has changed?

I think you’re using the sick relative as an excuse to get in touch.

I don’t really go for the blocking route. Deleting the number I’m a big fan of.

Move on.

OP What do you think you should do?

If you think you just described a nice person I'd hate to read your description of an arsehole.

Instead of being upset you should be pleased the rubbish took itself out. Sounds like it's 3.5 years too late!

You aren't going to get what you want because he's not going to change into a decent, mature man. He's a mardy, gaslighting sulker. Who wants to sign up to a lifetime of that?

Block him and move forward.

Thanks for all you’re replies.
I’m not wanting to get in touch nor am I ever expecting to hear from him again. I guess I have a sad underlying issue with the fact he told me about his parent. But yes you’re right I can stay in touch with them. I guess it’s made it harder to move on is why I was posting as I am now left feeling bad for them both.

It sounds like this is who he was all along. It was his way or the highway. This time you wouldn't back down, so he walked.

He sounds incredibly controlling and immature. It must be very painful but imagine a life where everything has to be how he likes it. Imagine how he would treat any children you had who wouldn't 'obey' his rules, does not sound healthy or happy at all.

@KatherineJaneway agreed. What I don’t understand is why when a huge proportion of it was good and happy yet they sabotage it making everyone miserable in the process.
Time wasting and childish