Is my girlfriend trustworthy?

[iwannabeadad]

I am a man and my girlfriend of 6 months, who claimed to be a straight woman, admitted today that she had been in love with a friend of ours who is a woman. I have known this woman and been friends with her longer than they have been friends. We met through this woman too. We all used to hangout together before we started our relationship. But after we started our relationship, my girlfriend has been insisiting that she spends time with this mutual friend of ours, alone. Which really got me wondering why and created certain clashes between us too. But only after 5 months, today she confessed to me that she was in love with this woman. (Before I started our relationship, I asked my girlfriend whether she had any feelings for this woman and she denied it and also claimed to be a straight woman)

The questions I would like help with answering are:

1. She has repeatedly been telling me that she is straight and even now she claims she is a straight woman. Can a straight woman be in love with another woman? (Am I stupid to ask this question or is my girlfriend a stupid/crafty woman?)

2. Only thing that really bothers me after she telling me this today is that, she insisting (From about 6 months ago, until recently) that she spends time alone with this woman, after we started our relationship (When we all could have hung out together like we used to before we started our relationship), and she having done so over my hurt feelings.

3. She only told me about this after that woman had stopped talking to her. And after I ended up talking to that woman a couple of days ago because of some other issue I had with my girlfriend. Do you think I should still trust my girlfriend after this? (She had previously been secretly talking to another guy she used to go out with before we got together, and told me about it, only after he stopped talking to her. To be fair to my girlfriend, there was nothing romantic/sexual involved in those internet based text chats, which she showed me when I asked for). She also claims that there was nothing romantic/sexual between she and this other woman too, during the time they spent together alone after she and I started our relationship.

4. She also has been refusing to answer her phone even for a second when one of her work friends is around, who also happens to be a female

5. My girlfriend also says I am her whole world and she would kill herself if I ever leave her. And says she was wrong to have kept this from me until now and that she would never keep any secrets from me hereafter and that I am all she needs. (and that she would do anything to prove it)

* I do not know what to do at this point. I care about her very much and I am very much in love with her. Even though our relationship is just 6 months long, we have spent at least over 8 hours a day in average together per day during that period of time, and also known each other for around 2 months before we started our relationship. So I could say this is a quite serious relatioship (at least it has been for me) and I am very close to her 10 year old kid too, who has started treating me like a dad. Do you think I should still trust my girlfriend and continue things as usual after this? What really bothers me is she insisiting that she spends time with that woman alone, after we had started our relationship. (and not having been honest about the feelings she had for that woman before we started our relationship, until now). Thank you.

You've double posted this

My girlfriend also says I am her whole world and she would kill herself if I ever leave her.

This sticks out as making everything else irrelevant. It's been 6 months. Cut and run. Run fast.

@elelel

My girlfriend also says I am her whole world and she would kill herself if I ever leave her.

This sticks out as making everything else irrelevant. It's been 6 months. Cut and run. Run fast.

This. Don't encourage the manipulation.

Honestly it's really hard to know from a distance but it sounds a bit controlling to be insisting on being present at all your girlfriend's social occasions or think she must be cheating. She might just want to see the friend and not make her a gooseberry, now that you are dating. The dynamic does change between 3 mutual friends and 1 couple plus friend.

Also, it is completely reasonable to not answer the phone when she is busy. Your relationship sounds pretty intense. Very quickly, especially given that she had a young child and is working. When does she spend time alone with the child?

Why would she lie about her sexuality etc. Surely she either wants to be with you or not. And apparently she does want to be with you.

My girlfriend also says I am her whole world and she would kill herself if I ever leave her.

You need to end this relationship now I'm afraid. Anyone who says that is a manipulative person who needs a swerve.

It's been 6 months - cut your losses.

If she falls in love with women, no she is not a straight woman. I am straight and have no interest in women of any kind. She is bi to say the least and very probably lesbian full stop.
And as for the little gem about committing suicide if you ever leave, I would leave her on that count alone. Despicable manipulation. Tell her to go ahead. She won´t. Highly manipulative. You are her beard, I am afraid.

She isn’t into you I’m afraid

So from the moment your relationship began you objected to her meeting this friend unchaperoned, and she says she'll kill herself if you end the 6 month relationship? Where did you meet, redflagsdating.com?

None of this sounds like a good way to begin a long term relationship and I would end it now. And possibly do some thinking about healthy relationships before entering another one.

Screams manipulation,
I'm on the cut and run crew
Not easy, never pleasant but in the long term you'll gain sanity

Jeez, just bin her., not worth all the effort

My girlfriend also says I am her whole world and she would kill herself if I ever leave her.
Riiiight ... both of you are mistaking neediness, melodrama & ego for love.
You should get out of this relationship immediately.
Anyone who is prepared to threaten you with their suicide unless you do what they want is bad news.

And says she was wrong to have kept this from me until now and that she would never keep any secrets from me hereafter and that I am all she needs. (and that she would do anything to prove it)
Anything ... except stop seeing this woman friend.
Anything ... except allow you to make your own decision as to whether to stay in a relationship with her In which case she will manipulate you with suicide threats.

and I am very close to her 10 year old kid too, who has started treating me like a dad
Far, far, too soon, & shows very poor judgement on her part.
we have spent at least over 8 hours a day in average together per day during that period of time
Blimey. When did she find time to get any quality parenting in?

You have love bombed each other for 6 months.
Your relationship is far too intense, there are other people within it that she doesn't want to help you feel more confident about, & all in all she sounds flaky as hell.

Dump her.
When she rings you with some confected drama about topping herself - ring the police. They will do a welfare check. And probably bawl her out for wasting police time with playacting.