Ok so last night DD's father said he was going to pop round to see her on his way back from working up north (he lives with his mother)
I text saying not tonight I'm exhausted. He turns up about 8.30 when me and DD are settled in my bed for the night. He's had a few pints, he's covered in sweat and dirt, walks in with dirty boots and trousers caked in grease, proceeds to take a shit in my toilet upon arrival, then comes and lies between me and DD.
He absolutely stank, and when I say stank I mean I had to open with windows and light an incense stick to clear the air. I even offered him a shower and a clean shirt but he said no this is what happened when you actually go to work.
I have OCD so I was having a mini anxiety attack. I had spent all day cleaning too.
He then started to fall asleep so I got up and started bedtime routine, he got the message and left. Text after saying thought you might want to see me. We have an on off relationship. Don't see each other often at all due to him working away.
I think the late evening visits need to stop because it's disrupting DD's routine. She gets all hyper and excited for him to spend sometimes only 10 minutes with her.
I've been lenient because he hardly sees her and sometimes the only way he is able to see her for a month is when he comes to mine after driving from up north.
I don't think I would have been too fussed about him showing up last night had he just showered, honestly the smell was that bad I had to cover my face.
I'm always so understanding when he's too tired to see her or have her overnight, but this wasn't retaliated last night. I explained I was feeling burnt out and exhausted and just wanted to put DD to bed and sleep myself.
He says I don't understand the meaning of the word tired and he would love to stay at home at look after a 4 year old 24/7.