Making new friends over 40

[Heelancoo]

How do you do it? Have tried meet up groups but in my area they seem to be for over 50, or 20s-30s. There’s also a mixed one but I’d really prefer a female only one, however bad that seems. In the midst of a divorce so don’t feel like being around males (know that sounds bad but is honestly how I feel). Would just like a couple of female friends around the same sort of age, who fancy meeting for a coffee etc. I have a DD and work full time so weekdays and late nights out are a no. Don’t have much disposable income to justify joining an evening class either. Just seems so difficult! Anyone got any ideas?

Get a dog

I mean you meet loads of people dog walking. You also have a friend who lives with you.

If you like dogs, then I agree with pp, having a dog is a gateway to meeting lots of new people and making new friends. If you're not a doggy person, then what about joining a choir? You don't have to be able to sing particularly well, and are predominantly female.

What about becoming an eco warrior or a friend of a nearby beauty spot. I think you're more likely to meet slightly older ladies to begin with. Writing and book clubs sometimes meet online.

If you can sew or do make up, amateur dramatics.

So many all female swimming groups too.

Zumba classes are generally all female and good fun. Yoga too, especially Bikram Yoga!

Dogs great if you have the time and money.

DD's friends mums?

Even if a group is mixed you don't have to befriend the males.

Why so picky about age though? It’s not a school you know you can have friends in their 50s or 30s.

Check Facebook ladies friendship groups
I HATE facecloth, but I now belong to a ladies friendship group and any lady can setup a coffee morning event, lunch etc
I now have at least 5-6 ladies that I meet regularly (and I now do line dancing as well🙈)

I've got dogs, lost lots of friends, as previous friends not dog people!

Bump into people walking them but not developed any friendships.

Not everyone likes dogs.

It's really hard.

Book club, Meetup. Or start a book club on Meetup. Good luck.

I had this same problem when I was looking for young and active new friends my age (just over 50). There seemed a massive void in between the 20s/30s partying singles and the early retirees, late 50s/60s, who just wanted to do gentle walks and mostly coffee shop/ garden centre get togethers!
Ultimately I managed to find a few friends just going to do things I was interested in - a creative writing class one weekend, a local book group and a ladies walking group - then I just homed in on a few of the people I got on best with and asked them if they fancied doing something else.
The thing is, you need to have something in common with them to chat about over coffee really or it soon begins to fizzle out. Are you friendly with any of DD's friends' parents? Is there anything going on at the school you could volunteer for - helping with a uniform sale, or coffees during a music/ drama performance/ sports events?

Social tennis? Our local club has a (cheap) scheme where you can play (badly!) but socially for one evening or one morning a week without having to join the club.

Do you sing/ play an instrument?

If you can start off with a coffee group with older ladies, firstly they may be very nice people themselves but also I bet younger people will be more inclined to join too if you’re there. I’ve met lots of younger people through the older people I met first too as they’ve introduced me to their daughters/younger friends.

Choosing group activities you enjoy helps as you’re naturally having a good time outside of the friendship too. So hobby, exercise, rambling, book club etc.

How old are you and how old are dc? Have you not made any mum friends through dc? I have friends initially through dc, but now they are my friends.

What about book clubs, running clubs?

Im not sure what the answer is but I’m not sure getting a dog is the way to go for making friends, yes you meet people out and about, even walk along with them occasionally and have a chat but I’ve yet to make a friend as such with those I meet when walking my dog.

Thanks-some good suggestions I hadn’t thought of before. I do have a dog and agree with PPs in that you do chat to lots of people out with theirs but it doesn’t go much beyond that. DD is in her teens and has a small circle of friends -never met their parents tho!
@AnaViaSalamanca in answer to your question-I totally agree!! It’s not me being picky it’s just when I try to join those kind of meet up groups I’m told I’m either too old or too young ☹️ I do have a couple of older friends through old workplaces but they seem busy with grandchildren.

But book clubs, Zumba and other sporty suggestions good-I like being active so that could be a good start. Also thinking of voluntary work as that could be good.

In the past I have found running clubs to be a good place to meet people. I'm slow so have always ended up running with the chatty people and made some friends that way. They usually have a very diverse range of ages too. Also popular with women as so many women don't want to run on their own.