What’s wrong with me?!

[SinglemumtoSal]

I’m a single mum. I get every other Saturday-Sunday off as my daughters dad has her then.
I have joined numerous dating sites and sometimes chat with men- often these don’t lead to anything.

I want a relationship but I don’t know how on earth it is possible to meet someone and spend the time getting to know someone. I feel like with my weekends off I should be lining up dates but I always feel I need the time to do things around the house and just generally have some me time… I don’t have any family around.
Anyone in this position? How do I find the time meeting men and getting to know someone when time is so limited and there always seems to be other priorities

Its hard to find time because at the moment the men are theoretical and its hard to imagine prioritising someone who doesn't yet exist over cleaning your floors. When it's a real person who you genuinely want to spend time with you will prioritise some of your free time for them. And if you still don't want to, they're not for you. In the meantime, can you manage short time limited dates, coffee, walk, early drink, maybe one a week?

Housework and you time in the day, dates in the evening?

Yes only my kids don’t see their dad at all so can’t date 😖 been single 5 years

Oh sorry @RedCandyApple.
I can’t do evenings as no childcare. Only every other weekend and an hour or so on the week. So hard to tie that in with someone else’s schedule. I have met 3-4 men off internet in the last few years ..but no second dates

Well you clearly aren't that bothered

You have entire weekends every other week free, if you wanted another relationship that's ample time to tidy the house and still have the odd dinner or date night.

You have time, you seem to not want to prioritise it, or even try to make room in your 'busy' schedule

I empathise. It’s really hard to fit everything in. I’m a lone parent and sometimes I crave to have the security and fun of a relationship, other times I think it’s too difficult to juggle it all. In the four years I’ve been online dating, on and off, with one 18month relationship in between, I’d say try and meet someone local who can meet up for a drink/coffee/dinner etc without needing to travel an hour or so home (takes the pressure off) but don’t forget you need time off too. The downtime from being a single parent, with its huge responsibilities, is very important.

When I was dating it was like having an extra job sometimes. Mentally exhausting and I became quite ruthless. Would be meeting men after work, weekends, brunch dates... eventually fell in love with a man at my new job and we are now married and have three kids!

I do feel like that period of dating lots of unsuitable people made me realise what I wanted though.

Household tasks can be done in the week. Or allocate Saturday morning to cleaning.

Socialising is important to your well being. So don't see it as dating. See it as part of your well being.

Old. Start chatting on the Monday or weekend the kids are home. You ha e a week to get a feel for that person a d arrange date for the Saturday evening. Sunday lunch time.

If you feel it went well then you can make another date the following weekend but will need childcare.

How old are your children? Do you have time In The week for lunch dates. (I'm lucky to work 4 days a week)

It isn't easy. I've been old for a few years now. My kids are older. I have a teen baby sitter who is happy to sit and watch my kids for £20 and I have a day in the week free

I realise in the past I've put my own barriers in the way. Money was a real one for a long time but the reality was I really was ready and still now feel 'odd' to be dating. But I enjoy meeting new people and making new friends. So if it takes off great if it doesn't then nothing lost.

Dating takes time and effort and a level of commitment. And it's ok to say right now it isn't for you.