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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Just drained by it all

4 replies

Fedupmummy88 · 15/01/2022 17:14

Dh and I have had yet another argument which has ended in him calling me a bad wife. I'm at the end of tether with everything but just don't know ow what to do.

For background

  • we both work full time. Dh works shifts, mainly nights and some weekend
-i've just returned from mat leave after dc2 (9 months) -older dc is 4 and in reception

The argument started as we've had a rough couple of weeks, the whole family ended up with Covid over Christmas. Dh was the worst of all of us so he stayed in bed a lot while I was still looking after the dc. He then went to back to work on nights and hasn't slept well so has stayed in bed from 7am - 7pm most days while I go back to work (wfh) and do school runs, nursery runs, housework etc.
-dc2 has been I nursery for a week and come home with a bad cold which I have got as well so I'm feeling awful while also doing all the above. Dh goes to football on a Saturday, while I usually spend the day taking both dc to lessons they have. Again I like doing this, but today it would have been nice if he could have nessaged and asked how I was

  • dc2 is still waking a couple of times a night, all of which I do. As they are currently ill I was up most last night, probably got around 3 hours sleep. When dc went for his nap this morning I went back to bed in the hope of an hours sleep, dh had other ideas and when I clearly stated I wanted to sleep he got the hump and has now called me a bad wife

I'm literally just drained by everything now. He says I don't ask for enough help but when I do ask it feels like he always has an excuse as to why not to help, or will argue about my way of doing things as he thinks his way is better.

OP posts:
UserError012345 · 15/01/2022 17:16

You shouldn't have to ask for help.

mumofone234 · 15/01/2022 17:22

I don't want it to sound like I'm diminishing or excusing anything, but you've both had a really tough few weeks and are at a low ebb. It might be that things actually feel better again when you're well and have recovered from this - could just be that you're both fed up and that's magnifying the tensions and issues.

GoodnightGrandma · 15/01/2022 17:26

Tell him that if he does sort himself out you will divorce him and he can have the kids 50% of the time.

GoodnightGrandma · 15/01/2022 17:29
  • doesn’t
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