Please help me i dont know how to cope

[Horseytwinkletoes2]

Hi everyone. I would really appreciate your help i have no one to talk to.
My partner of 13 years doesnt want me anymore is the starting point.
So i have 3 children including a 3 month old. We private rent. I dont work as a sahm. My partner says i can continue to live in our rented and he will support me but realistically how long is that gonna last?! I dont know how to cope with the kids and no money and thinking one day he might decide thats enough no more money. Ive tried applying to councils but am such low priority.
Also how on earth do i live a life with 3 kids no job- what the hell kind of man is ever going to want that?!?!
Sorry for the erraticness of this post i just never ever ever thought i would be in this position.partner works nights 6 days a week so wouldn't even get a childcare break 😔

It must be very hard OP. Firstly take a long breath and sit down.

You can claim UC for yourself and children, this should cover most of your rent and bills. They also help with childcare costs if you have a job. With UC the more you earn the better off you are.

As for thinking about whether another man will want you - that's a long way off right now. Focus on you and the children.

Sorry to see this Op, do you have family nearby who can come and stay for a bit maybe? Give you a bit of space and time to yourself for a few hours?

Why does it matter if another man wants you or not? I’ve noticed a lot of women of here worrying when a relationship ends they won’t get another man, just spend some time single is there really any rush to be in a new relationship? Take one day at a time that should be the last time to worry about

Don’t think about another relationship yet and stress over the wills and will nots. That will happen in time but trust me, rushing to another man isn’t a great idea after this upheaval.
As said above, apply for UC, get some legal advice to get child support from your partner. Get it done legally so he has to pay. Don’t fall for any informal, just between ourselves agreements.
Get some benefits advice so you claim everything you’re entitled to. That will keep you going until you can think about working in the future.
You will bounce back from this. ( men are shit at times aren’t they)

The reason your in this mess is because of a man, don' t jump straight out of the fat into the fire, become your own knight in shining armour instead. Focus on you and your childrens wellbeing, look for training or a job, childcare etc, start rebuilding your life.

Stop looking too far ahead.
Focus on now, tomorrow and the week ahead. No further.
Tell him to go do that you can settle into your new life.

Universal credit as others have said. Even if he moves out, you apply for UC, you'll get cover for the kids and yourself and 80% of any childcare. I think you can earn 500 a month without it affecting your UC. probably not a priority with a 6 week old at home obviously! It cam be done. He can and should also provide money for your care of the kids. Id get what you can in place and then speak to him rationally about the financial arrangement, how much and how long it would last. In essence since hes working 6 days a week and its 3 kids, ypure doing the absolute lions share so you should be provided for

Goodness.

In time you will see that it is better that he doesn't string you along.
When you are ready look at a PT job in a school. Midday Supervisor for instance.
It is Term time only and it ticks some of your boxes.
Good Luck.

Just so sorry for you.

The messages above are well meaning but you are so vulnerable with q 3 month old and it isn't that easy to just get on with things.

As a pp said, one day at a time. Claiming the right benefits is the first step and citizens advice can help you.

Do you have a mum, friend or sister who can help you? You need support.

Oh love, what a twat,

3 children, one being a 3 month old, the responsibility of that man.

What a waster.
Makes children then doesn't look after them.

Does he have a good job, child maintenance and devision of childcare first and then an appointment with CAB to find out what you are entitled to.

Has there been any abuse, he doesn't sound pleasant just announcing it like this.
As a pp said, try not to look too far ahead at the moment, concentrate on getting stronger.

Keep posting