Dating app question

[NineteenSeventy2]

Is there a dating app out there where I can see them (guys) but they can’t see me (until I let them)? Profile pics, I mean. It just freaks me out the thought of my pic being plastered in a site for all to see. I’m not ugly btw!! Also, are there any where the female makes the move?
Sorry, I am not used to this at all. Long marriage ended last year.

On Bumble the woman has to message first, it also has an ‘incognito’ mode where only people you have swiped right on can see your profile. You have to subscribe to the premium version to use incognito though.

Match has the same function too I think. But you have to sign up for a subscription and then pay extra for that privilege.

Thanks both

Good to know.

It freaks me out when guys I’ve seen, and written off as not for me, contact me. I too would like to see them but not them see me.

Pof has the option to hide your profile while you look through profiles.
They'll only see your profile if you message them.

This option is free of pof whereas I think you need to pay on bumble and match.

Word of warning tho, I found pof the worst of all dating sites - and I've tried them all!!

Sounds like a great way to be able to cheat to me - but I can see why legit people use it too

@RoseSays
I’m certainly not cheating but I can see why some people can do that with a hidden pic. I think I’m more worried about colleagues or friends seeing me - I’d be mortified!

Dating for all age groups has moved online, even pre-pandemic times, and even more so lately with lives and the way people socialised having changed so much.
So really no need to be worried about anyone you know seeing you.
Regular dating platforms are just that - dating. And your friends/colleagues know you are divorced. And I am sure they don’t expect you so stay single.

You really have nothing to be feeling mortified about!!!! Good luck

[quote NineteenSeventy2]@RoseSays
I’m certainly not cheating but I can see why some people can do that with a hidden pic. I think I’m more worried about colleagues or friends seeing me - I’d be mortified![/quote]
Why would you be mortified OP? It's a perfectly regular thing to do to use dating apps! There's no need to be embarrassed about it at all

Having been in a situation where I've discovered my OLD profile has been seen by a friend of STBXH and shared with him, I absolutely get one of the many, many reasons why OP might want reassurance over controlling who can see her profile, without her being cheating.

OP - on Tinder you can integrate your Contacts from your phone, and then block all or some (I have a lot of professional contacts on there and for that reason alone I also wanted to control who could and couldn't see me).

On Facebook Dating there's a setting for you to block all your Facebook friends, and friends-of-friends. You can also do a search for specific Facebook accounts and block them too (although good luck if you want to block a John Smith )

On some others, in the free versions, you can sometimes block on an individual basis if their profile comes up in your 'deck' by initiating a 'report' at the time you're viewing their profile. I can't fully remember which apps but I think Bumble is one example where you can do this. When you bring up the report function you get the chance just to select 'I don't want to see this user'. That will stop you seeing their profile again and them seeing yours. Of course they may already have seen it by then.

The only other option is to pay for the upgraded features on individual apps, such as the incognito function referred to above.

HTH.