I started seeing a man 4 months ago who I'd been speaking to for quite some time. When we finally met in person, I understood why his pictures only ever showed head shots, as he was a lot larger than he had previously described. This was ok, and we continued to meet.
During time, he began talking about his weight and how he was determined to lose some. I offered my support and suggested we go for walks and eat better, each one of these he would decline every time. Sex was very uncomfortable as I am quite petite and so it became uncomfortable and I struggled to breathe if he went on top.
I joined a keep fit class just before Christmas, as I have my own body hangups and always feel uncomfortable being naked around a partner. He constantly made references to this and teased me regularly, nothing with any substance just kept bringing up the class I attended and laughing. Not sure what was funny.
Other things became apparent; in the few months I've known him he has changed jobs twice and gone back to his original job that involves very little movement. Never sticking to anything.
In the time we were together, he put on over a stone as we would always have to drink and go for food, other things were declined. I got fed up of him never wanting to do anything and if I'm being very honest, his habits became very unappealing.
He is unable to walk far as he gets out of breath and constantly wears baggy clothes to hide his size however, denies being as large as he is like he is in denial. His brothers and sisters have warned him about his weight, as their mum had a heart attack a few years previously.
It got to the point where we only went out if it was in the car, to a pub or restaurant and back home. I tried to speak with him regarding the fact that at 30, we should be able to walk down stairs or to the end of the street without being short of breath but he turned it into a joke.
I have tried to make compromises with him over a little bit of sharing each others lifestyle, as I have gone along with every request the past four months, but nothing ever came of it. It was basically his way or no way.
I have now ended things because I cannot stand to eat take aways 3-4 times a week and drink alcohol 2-3 nights a week. There are other reasons, but I feel they stem from his denial of his weight and his insecurities, as he became rather controlling also. I feel sad things have ended, as for a while we were great together. I feel like I've been too shallow and wonder if I've been too hasty.
When I ended things, all he asked was if I was sleeping with someone else, never what was making me unhappy. We split up 10 days ago and he has since blocked and unblocked me, sent me a couple of messages asking if I'm seeing someone else and blocked me again.
Do you think I should approach him and ask if we could some how work things out and see if he would be willing to compromise, or do you think it would end up back at square 1 with false yeses?