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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Clare’s Law

22 replies

Butterflyfly7 · 13/01/2022 17:15

Hello, could anyone that has done a clares law disclosure request advise me please? I have submitted a request against my current partner as I found out that he has been arrested 8 or 9 times previously for domestic incidents in relation to to ex who he tells me was an alcoholic and that she rang the police telling them lies etc.
So I submitted the request as certain things do not add up, he tells me he was never charged when he was arrested, but let slip recently that he had to go to court for the incidents, which would only occur if he was charged if my understanding is correct. Also, he told me there was some kind of restraining order and on tag. He tells he was never violent and it was the other way around, but surely the police would not have taken it so far if there was no evidence?
Basically I’m asking what will the police be able to tell me under Clares law, will they be able to detail the incidents? I just want to know either way who I am living with, the police have been in touch with me and I need to decide whether its worth the stress of going down the station if they can’t tell me more than I already know.

OP posts:

lemuelgulliver · 13/01/2022 17:20

I also want to know about this. Is there any chance they'll tell my partner if I do a request on him? Or tell anyone?

JayniSummers · 13/01/2022 17:22

Have you googled his name ? My lovely friend was told the same sort of lies , turns out the local newspaper reported fully his physical and mental abuse ( including throwing one poor " alcoholic/ physco - his terminology not ours- out of a window) . He told my dear friend it was all lies . He was indeed a persistent evil women beater .She didn't have to go as far as clares law , so can't help much more , I'm sure others will be along to support you more x

RedCandyApple · 13/01/2022 17:25

Remember googling doesn’t always show things, I found out my ex had been to prison for violence yet there is nothing at all on google. Yes police will give you the details you need.

Original poster

Butterflyfly7 · 13/01/2022 17:28

@JayniSummers

I’ve googled his name, didn’t find anything and his name is pretty unique (in that, there’s no one else with the same name). He doesn’t have any social media either funnily enough so I’ve not got much to go on other than his words.

OP posts:

Hmum0fthree · 13/01/2022 17:32

@Butterflyfly7 a family friend has recently had this done, the police did it for her without the request due to what he had done to her, but from what I gathered they don't tell him and you can't repeat what you are told.

weekend2021 · 13/01/2022 17:36

The police will confirm if there have been any recorded incidents of DV but will only give you little, if any, detail.

thisisit53 · 13/01/2022 17:38

Relax. It's all confidential, they do not disclose to anyone that you've seen his record, even the person it's about, they don't need their permission or anything to tell you. You sign to say you won't talk about it to anyone either.

I've done it on a partner, his ex kept saying things and I wanted to know the truth. It's worth going and seeing what they have to say and take it from there, make your own mind up.

Whybirdwhy · 13/01/2022 17:41

DV or not, you don't trust him, not a great basis for a relationship even without the DV. Is it worth it?

ChargingBuck · 13/01/2022 17:41

I just want to know either way who I am living with

Butterfly my dear - you already know who you are living with.
A violent man, who lies to you about his crimes.

By all means pursue the Claire's Law avenue of that helps give you peace of mind, but you don't need any further evidence or justification to leave him.

abeautifulday · 13/01/2022 17:43

So sorry to hear your going through this process. Would the police get in touch if the partner had been charged with a violent offence (not specifically DV)? Is there a timescale so for example if it was 2003, would the police still think it was relevant to disclose?

Tee20x · 13/01/2022 17:47

I think you need to leave him. You've already said that his story isn't adding up, he said he wasn't charged but then has been to court and has had a restraining order and been on tag?

For these things to have occurred he has most likely been convicted of something.

Charliealphatangorara · 13/01/2022 17:48

Obviously in this case a Clare's law search would show incidents /charges etc (assuming the allegations are true). I would just like to point out to anyone else reading this that sometimes an abuser is not reported to the police and so there could be a situation where nothing would come up.

I would hate for anyone to ignore their gut or red flags because a Clare's law search brings up no results. My ex would look squeeky clean on paper as I never reported him.

ChargingBuck · 13/01/2022 17:56

Exactly this @Charliealphatangorara.

OP already knows enough to trust her gut & dump this woman-abuser.

Pinkbonbon · 13/01/2022 18:29

You know enough already op. I've never had a partner where I've thought 'there's something off about him, better do a Claire law' or 'his ex says he was a violent drunk amd he has been arrested 8 times'. Because they'd be an ex quicker than i could finish those sentences!

Seriously op, get him gone. He doesn't have to be charged with anything for you to know this one is no good. Dont waste your life looking for excuses not to leave him and instead, give yourself permission to walk away.

maskedwoman · 13/01/2022 18:37

I'm actually tempted to use Claire's law b my exH. He was emotionally abusive to me but both his ex's there were physical fights. Obviously he told me they both started it and it was self defence from him.

Now I'm starting to wonder. It wouldn't change anything, our marriage is still over but it's more for peace of mind.

Saying that my gut feeling is it was never reported so it could just be a complete waste of time

RedCandyApple · 13/01/2022 18:42

I’ve wanted to do one on my ex as well as we have children but I am not sure they would give details if it’s an ex/no longer in a relationship

Pinkbonbon · 13/01/2022 18:49

Yeah they won't give you it for an ex. But they probably would for an ex you have children with.

But if they were emotionally abusive then you already know they are evil and dangerous.

GotBeatenUp · 13/01/2022 18:51

Bear in mind that if the Clare's Law disclosure doesn't reveal anything it doesn't necessarily mean that nothing happened.

the legislation is limited to convictions involving violence
It won't show arrests where no charges were pressed

The alcoholic psycho ex is a red flag. As are a lot of other things.

maskedwoman · 13/01/2022 18:54

@Pinkbonbon

Yeah they won't give you it for an ex. But they probably would for an ex you have children with.

But if they were emotionally abusive then you already know they are evil and dangerous.

Oh that's good to know. He is now an ex and I feel it's quite pointless. Deep down I already know the answers and I doubt it would of been reported anyway.

loopyapp · 13/01/2022 19:01

criminalinjurieshelpline.co.uk/legal-advice/clares-law

This is quite informative

Closetbeanmuncher · 13/01/2022 19:33

How long have you been with him OP?

Are you the poster who's boyfriend was angling to move in after he got kicked out of his rented place for making holes in the walls?

Sab2021 · 11/02/2022 00:38

You may think you know everything but the disclosure will tell you things even his ex does know.

You will be called to go into the police station to have his criminal record disclosed to. You will be in a private room with a safe guarding officer who will get you to sign a non disclosure form. You are not allowed to disclose his criminal record to anyone. You will be given the opinion to have the information read to you or read it yourself. I opted for both. Read carefully as you will not be able to take the paper home with you. The information they disclose will be relevant to you. My ex abused multiple women physically and sexually and this was disclosed to me along with dates, a brief outline of the victim’s statement and the outcome of the allegations.

The fact you doing this is a huge red flag. Look after yourself x

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