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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Why do we fall for their bull%$&*

7 replies

Plutoisaplanet · 13/01/2022 11:45

When I met DH he swept me off my feet but it turns out he was a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Multiple dc now so our lives are intertwined for the foreseeable. This is not how I thought things would turn out.

OP posts:
GreyCarpet · 13/01/2022 18:50

We don't.

You did. But there is no collective 'we'.

It's never too late to leave.

StopStartStop · 13/01/2022 18:54

Some of us certainly do fall for their bullshit. And no, my life didn't turn out the way I thought it would, either.

greencoffeecup · 13/01/2022 18:56

Life is not straightforward- and mine is the same. But, you're here. Talk to us. I'm listening

AnneLovesGilbert · 13/01/2022 19:11

What did he lie about? Having kids together means you’re stuck coparenting till they’re old enough for you not to but you’re not condemned to a relationship with him. You can always leave and meet someone else if that’s what you’d like, or be happy by yourself.

Maze76 · 13/01/2022 20:12

I have come to the conclusion that I cannot fully trust any man. My husband showed me this and I intend to approach dating with a totally different mindset.
I have no intention of ever living with or marrying anyone again.
Protect yourself.. to many of us fall for their crap and end up paying the emotional cost

Ohpulltheotherone · 13/01/2022 20:18

You’re not to blame for someone else’s shitty behaviour.

You fell in love, took a chance, made yourself vulnerable and embraced what you believed to be a genuine and authentic person / relationship.

You did nothing wrong.

It happens to the best of us.

The good thing is, every lesson takes us closer to knowing more about the world and the people in it.

Don’t let someone else’s fucked up toxic bullshit ruin your potential to have a respectful, honest and happy partnership in the future (if that’s what you want - flying solo is fine too). He might have fucked you over once but don’t let his shittiness stop you believing that there are good men out there.

Useresque · 13/01/2022 20:43

Get even. Or, get in the mode of intending to get even ... even if you don't actually do anything to get even! Basically, find your anger, don't be a victim, use that adrenalin to propel your life forward.

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