Did I do the right thing?

[Undercity]

It's only been one and a half days since I broke up with my boyfriend and I am having doubts. They are normal, I know, but he has honestly been the best man I have ever been involved with, but...

-he didn't work and wasn't going to go back to work any time soon - plans were some time in the future
-he had ED, but in the past has managed to have a lot of different partners - made me feel like I wasn't good enough, despite his reassurances
-he was physically unfit to a worrying degree - taking him out on a walk anywhere involved a lot of planning
-he found it difficult that I am a) very involved with my work and b) was busy with my kids at other times, so he would only see me once a fortnight, despite daily chats

So a few days ago, after a lovely time together, he went home and thought I didn't use the time I claimed for myself for the work I said needed doing. A misunderstanding fuelled by technology logging me into something when I was actually busy elsewhere.

However, he went home and had some issues to deal with with his place and got incredibly annoyed. He let it out on me by accusing me of being logged into something I wasn't and getting arsey when I showed him what I was actually doing. When I got defensive (with screenshots) - a leftover from my time in a controlling and abusive relationship - he asked me whether I wanted to call it a day.

The next day he only reluctantly apologised and refused to talk about the issues I had with his behaviour. He turned some things around on me and also told me he didn't like me calling all the shots in our relationship. But I have commitments; he doesn't.

It's only been a few months since we started and I have wholeheartedly taken on board that things should be easy at this time.
But

-he was so loving
-he was patient
-he made me feel safe whenever he was here

He had his own issues going on. Some part in me thinks I made a mistake, but it may well be the part that misses the man, because before this incident I honestly thought I'd found my one. All the chemistry was there. We both fell fast and hard for each other. And now, I miss him. And I know he misses me. Did I do the right thing?

He doesn’t sound like much of a catch tbh, not sure why you think he’d even be slightly ok partner material, especially being lazy and work shy, ED, and controlling and whinging.

@Undercity

Thanks all, I feel better today.

For those asking, my previous encounters with men have included rape, DV and a whole lot of emotional abuse. So yes, he was the best man I've met by a long shot and he did have many good qualities. The reason I have split with him is because my bar is so much higher these days.

However, I can't help but feel that at my age (wrong side of 35) I'm past finding my one. Or that any good man, who happens to be single, would want to be with me.

My kids are amazing and they are my world; it is easy to feel now that I can cope on my own when they are still around. But what will be when they fly the nest?

Come on - the wrong side of 35? Don't be ridiculous. You have most of your life ahead of you . Relax... and celebrate the fact that you have dropped this dead weight .

OP - you are just 35+. And you already have kids, so you aren’t looking for a person to settle down and have kids with - which is quite an obstacle for women dating in mid 30s+.

So - if your bar is - find a non-violent, non-rapist, who will have a job and working penis - it describes a lot of men out there. You just need to find one that you like and that is nice to you.
Many relationships fall apart when people in their 40s - so there will be men looking to date women your age who don’t want to have more children.
Don’t give up. Keep living your life, enjoying your kids, friends and hobbies. And date.
Eventually you’ll meet someone that is right for you.