Opinions on dating app profile appreciated

[Tr1ggsy]

Hi!

I often look on here but have never posted mainly because you fantastic lot usually have the answer and searching sorts out what I'm looking for!

I don't know if this is ok or not, basically I'm newly single (well 8months single at the time of writing) and as I was with my ex for nearly 15 years dating apps blow my mind but it seems to be the only way to meet people now a days.

To be clear... I'm NOT looking for a quick jump, just to chat etc. I'm looking for a genuine relationship. As such I'm putting a lot of effort into my photos, the bio, prompt questions etc as possible. One thing that is bothering me is mentioning kids... I have them obviously (7&3) or I wouldn't be on this site, but does it bother people they are on there? To me they are the biggest and most important part of my life, and if I view profiles I don't care about kids in photos, mentions of kids etc, in fact I will sway towards mum's because they know what's involved.

So my questions are:

Do I have photos of me with my kids?
I have a mix of clear face photos, photos with kids blurred out and photos of me doing hobbies.

Do I heavily mention my kids in the bio? Currently is says I have 2 boys, and a line about what we like to do. Should I just say I have 2 boys (7&3) or a bit about what we do?

Is there an app people prefer?
I'm on Tinder and Bumble, tried POF but I got hounded by weirdos so left!

My gut says include them, it's what I've done already and I like my profile, but I've seen a few profiles with mentions they hate seeing kids in pics or being mentioned (obviously they probably aren't for me) and some women I know have also said this IRL so I thought I'd reach out to a broad spectrum and see what the world thinks on this subject.

Don't know if it matters but I'm 36 and in the UK so happy to listen to anyone from around the world as I guess dating is universal? 🤷‍♂️

Thanks in advance

What you've changed it to sounds perfect. Also photos sound good now. Good luck!!

I remember the profiles that would really aggressively say stuff like "my kids come first deal with it or fuck off".

If someone has kids, I assume they come first. Doesn't need saying on a profile!

I was on Bumble and Tinder for 2 yrs.
I have 2 kids, but I never mentioned it unless someone asked.
No pics of me and my children.
Pic of me in a tuxedo, pic of me djing in a club, one of my face.
I didn't write a bullshit bio either, no, my name is Dougal I like fun in the sun, heal my broken heart, etc, etc.
My most successful bio's were asking a question?
This opened up the conversation immediately because they answered it. Asked them all out in under 10 messages or less.

My friend and I were laughing about men with fish today and men that go hi babe, you're gorgeous, etc.

@Hrpuffnstuff1 What's this about fish? I've seen profiles saying things about fish pics 🤷‍♂️

I haven't waffled on with my bio I just found myself reading women's profile and swiping more to ones the wrote something over ones that didn't. I can't just connect on looks, I need to know they have something other than Love Island, fake tan and nails. Those types suit some but not me at all. I actually wrote mine and sent it to a female friend who ripped it apart and helped me re-write it and it's already a lot more successful than what I had 🤷‍♂️

In the detail part of most apps they ask age higher do you have kids etc etc. I would be honest here. Just a yes will suffice.

In my bio. I I have said I have a busy life with family and work but I'm hoping to meet.....

No pictures of your kids. Just you. That is what you are being judged on

You will get an barrage of people on here saying to not even mention them. When you are swiping through people are looking for certain things. It maybe they want someone without children. And without it being In Your details or can be misleading.

I do not buy into the everyone is a risk to your child. In fact I find it really offensive that it implies I can not safe guard my children. Im dating for me. To meet people and see how it goes. My children do not feature in my private for a good while before I've got to know someone.

Fingers crossed it goes well for you. Have a thick skin. Strong boundaries and see it as a bit of fun.

The children should be mentioned but no photos.
I was on dating apps for a while but have given up now as I was just constantly attracting people who only wanted a blowjob.

@ilssagain at least that features actually meeting people, not that I would meet up for a hook up.

my highlights this weekend were wanting me to watch them masturbate. 3 different men. I wouldn't mind but I'm 50. Short and wobbly. I guess they think I'm desperate. If my picture was all boobs and pouting I'd understand. But that is old for you.

I wouldn’t really want to watch a long term partner masturbate, let alone some random bloke off Tinder.

There are hundreds of photos on men's profiles proudly holding a large, wet, dead fish. It's soulless eyes contrasting with their obliviously cheery grin. It's one of those things that does nothing for women but men believe is deeply attractive.

@PicaK I'm actually speechless that is a thing 🤨 who comes up with these ideas? 😂 If that's my competition then I'm fairly safe then

Also don’t have photos where you’ve obviously cropped out your ex.

Yeah the competition is pretty grim. Try not to be a creepy weirdo and definitely don’t send dick pics. If you can manage that you’ll be in the top 5% or so.

@sexnotgender yeah those were part of the photos I chose not to use. Plus I thought it was quite thoughtless to cut her out and use one of those to find someone else. I don't do dick pics raised by a single mum so got huge amount of respect for women, my mum would prob drop kick me if I did that and I got found out 😂🤣. Can't promise not to be weird as I have my quirks but certainly not a creep. I've got a female friends review to prove it "He's not a serial killer" that's all she gave me🤣

Good lord Tr1ggsy - you'll be beating them off with a stick at this rate. No fish, no skanky toilet, no half naked suggestive pouting. Most impressed.
I think the hardest thing is seeing all the aggressive profiles angrily stating what they don't want and lambasting anyone who is like that. It's just not cool and actually a bit scary.

@PicaK

Good lord Tr1ggsy - you'll be beating them off with a stick at this rate. No fish, no skanky toilet, no half naked suggestive pouting. Most impressed. I think the hardest thing is seeing all the aggressive profiles angrily stating what they don't want and lambasting anyone who is like that. It's just not cool and actually a bit scary.

Absolutely this. "NOT interested in (long list here)" often accompanied by "Looking for someone I can treat like a princess"

BLEURGH.

And remember, as women on dating sites we have to put up with such absolute creeps saying disgusting shit to us within minutes, being genuinely angry if we say we don't think it's a good fit, wanting send dick pics, pushing for a phone number too soon, telling us what to wear on a date (had this multiple times, would immediately cancel and then get the aforementioned angry response), men negging us...

Honestly it's rough out there for us. So if someone is a little guarded and not all in too soon then it's a sign she has good boundaries and can take it slow, steady and sensibly.

I also think that if I had kids I wouldn't be happy about their pictures being on a dating site on my ex's profile though I know I would have no legal right to enforce that. But glad to hear you've taken on board that it's not ideal for anyone.

Definitely mention you're a dad on your profile as it stops either party wasting time if that is a dealbreaker.

Good luck pal, be yourself as you do sound genuine and nice!

To prepare you for what women deal with, I've had "those are blow job lips", "what's your favourite position?" I said managing director, which is what I am then blocked, "can I see a fully body shot before we continue speaking" THE ENTITLEMENT - and there was one, I just wasn't wearing a bikini! God it was rough sailing out there.

Met my partner on tinder and it was easy from the start. No stress, no games and haven't stopped laughing together for a couple of years now. I hope you find the same!

Thank you, you basically described the exact opposite of me 😂 I'm hoping because I'm on there with genuine reason and just being me that it will come across. I'm not even swiping every woman just for the sake of it, what's the point in that? I did speak to my ex to see if she was happy with the photos first as did she with hers (obviously only the ones with the kids on) so that side was ok with both of us.

From all the many, normal good guys out there allow me to apologise for the wankers that are out there. I'm no saint by any means and nor am I a prick. I love that Managing Director come back, brilliant.

The feedback seems to have worked, been chatting to someone who said she really liked the profile and it stood out. I honestly couldn't have picked a better match going off the messages we've had, arranged going for drinks so let's see what happens.

His response to my Managing Director response was "cocky fucking bitch" which he managed to send just before I blocked! God it was grim out there!

Be one of the nice, normal, decent guys and hopefully you'll meet someone equally as nice, normal and decent!

@youvegottenminuteslynn

His response to my Managing Director response was "cocky fucking bitch" which he managed to send just before I blocked! God it was grim out there!

Be one of the nice, normal, decent guys and hopefully you'll meet someone equally as nice, normal and decent!

What a tool!

I had some guy get really mad with me because I didn’t think we’d be a good match. Called me an arrogant stuck up bitch. Maybe I am Barry, but you’re at least 20 years older than me and frankly a balding old man in a tracksuit doesn’t get me all excited.

FYI I met my husband online. POF. Married for a few years now and got 2 beautiful children. It is worth it but god there were some arseholes!

Tbf being named Barry is a barrier to meeting anyone.

@PicaK

Good lord Tr1ggsy - you'll be beating them off with a stick at this rate. No fish, no skanky toilet, no half naked suggestive pouting. Most impressed. I think the hardest thing is seeing all the aggressive profiles angrily stating what they don't want and lambasting anyone who is like that. It's just not cool and actually a bit scary.

Yeah the strong INCEL vibe from that was immense and so common … obvs just so much negativity is deeply unattractive in anyone.

Don’t waste my time by matching and not messaging. No filters and bunny ears. No drama. No crazy exes. Blah blah. Awful. Imagine writing that and thinking it was attractive.