Intimacy with an unfit man

[goodyear2021]

Due to health reasons, my partner is unfit and our intimate life, while new, is entirely different to my previous one with exh.
My current partner has a health condition that leaves him breathless and wheezy so I am usually on top which I enjoy but we can't get a rhythm going. Hope this isn't TMI.
Otherwise the chemistry is amazing and no complaints regarding his attention to me or me to him.
Amy advice on how to improve this or make it easier for him while being mutually beneficial for both of us.

Can be improve his fitness at all?

Try him sitting and you straddling.
If you use something like a kitchen chair with no arms, you can face each other (which is very nice), and if can touch the floor you can control the rhythm

.. and you have got spoons as well, that’s pretty nice and can be quite easy

Thanks.I was worried that it was a bit TMI for the forum.
We can't seem to synchronise and get our rhythm right.
He is very tall and I'm 5'7 and we both have relatively big midriffs so it can be awkward
He has a Chronid lung condition which is why he has breathlessness and wheeziness.

TBH, don't think I'd start anything up with a man with a pre-existing lung condition, for reasons of not being able to be as active as I am, so lack of sharing activities, and the knowledge that it will ultimately shorten his lifespan, so heartache down the line. Good luck to you, I hope you find a way through, but when you have a choice at the start, why chose it?

If you both have big tummies, then probably best going front to back, so probably a chair with you facing away or spooning, I would have thought?

@Opentooffers

He’s a person, not a fridge under warranty 🙄

Maybe she values him?

OP, if either ones of you lost the midriff, it would make a huge difference. X

@Opentooffers Because I would prefer a relationship with a kind,caring and loving man who adores and cherishes me for a shorter period of time than anyone else for a longer period of time.
I have had relationships with both types and believe me when I say that to be in a relationship with a self absorbed, selfish, family avoiding , exercise/ cycling/ triathlon/ hobby ( delete as appropriate) obsessed bore is the most soulless, joyless relationship to endure . My partner is the exact opposite. Quality over quantity any day.

@PinchOfVom I'm on it!!!!!! Doing well too but need lots of
Motivation.

@Opentooffers
Jeez, 10/10 for having a total lack of any compassion, empathy, decency or human kindness

@goodyear2021
Good luck with everything

you need a love swing ;)

Spoons :) him laying behind you. Less effort apparently according to exDH and leaves his hands free to explore you. Very intimate and feels great!

Perhaps there are supportive Facebook groups for partners of people with this condition that can offer some support? Many groups these days offer the possibility to ask sensitive questions like these anonymously in the group and you can get some answers from people who are actually in your situation.

@Sonaftersonafterson

Spoons :) him laying behind you. Less effort apparently according to exDH and leaves his hands free to explore you. Very intimate and feels great!

Another vote for spoons 👍🏼

He’s a person, not a fridge under warranty 🙄

You win todays internet

Spoons I love but I love face to face too. Because of the issues, we tend not to be face to face when intimate and although this doesn't bother him hugely , I prefer it . Great ideas with the sitting on chairs. Just need to get shot of the teens first!

Piv is very overrated in my opinion. But it sounds like it's important to you? Can you agree on having piv for 5 mins, so you get the looking into each others eyes bit, then finish off manually?

I find mutual masturbation much more intimate than sex.

When you’re on top, if one of you stays still the other one can do the moving - then you don’t have to get into a rhythm. Also try a variation of spoons where you turn your shoulder towards him so you are twisting your torso towards him - that way you can see each other/kiss.

Had a feeling that would not go down too well. Not saying he doesn't have fantastic attributes, and yes being fit does not make you a decent human being. I hope you are able to work around the issues.

He’s a person, not a fridge under warranty 🙄

This!!
My DH has COPD. We can't do a lot of things together. Doesn't stop us loving each other and doing non physical things