Would you stay?

[Coconutyellow05]

So me and my partner were going through a really bad patch - he never wanted to be at home, wanted to be out with friends all the time and left me at home with the children (including a new baby) we then went out for a day with friends - he made every excuse for me not to come and when I turned up late there was another girl sitting with him - we split up a few days later.
He then began messaging this girl and god know what - I know he really liked her but in the end she finished things with him. He’s now come back with his tail between his legs and wants to try again - I can’t get over the fact I’m second best - but the children really want there daddy home, he said he can change - what do I do?

I wouldn’t. I’d never trust him again.

Tell him he made his choice now live with it. Your children will ajust in time.

Tell him to fuck off?

I mean, he dumped you coz he fancied someone else. She dumped him and now he wants a warm bed. I mean, hello?

I wouldn't have him back either. I would spend every minute he wasn't with me wondering if he was cheating on me, and I don't want to live like that. The children will be fine.

Absolutely not! He has made a mug of you and only wanted you because she fucked him off. The kids will be fine and it's better than staying together just for them. Sorry you have had to go through this op

God no. He made a complete fool of you and it sounds like he was shit father and partner before this anyway.

Sorry you are going through this, it is not something I could forgive.

No chance. You deserve a partner that puts you first. You'll live a life of second guessing. The kids can still see their father. A broken home is not about 2 parents who don't live together. It's about a toxic dynamic

OP, find your self respect and your anger. Then use them. Get rid of this selfish cruel bastard of a partner asap.
You deserve so much better than this. You are not some second rate consolation prize - which is how this despicable man apparently sees you.

Say no and keep him at arms length for the time being and see whether time will tell if he really has changed.

Not a chance. Once they stray, they always stray. And I'm sorry, but yes, you and your children will always be second best. I've been there myself.

Thanks everyone this is what I no deep down, I guess I’m just scared to go it alone financially more than anything - she lives very close as well so I still have to see this woman regularly and so does he - I need to get away I just need to find the strength to go ahead with it - I needed these answers today xx

Don't waste any time thinking about this other woman.
She's not your problem.

Your problem is your ex, who literally left you holding the baby, & was no kind of partner to you. He was a terrible partner, who you no longer need.

Millions of people are worried about coping financially - it's a tough world. But you will find resources - in yourself & via Citizens Advice to get you all the help & benefits available - & just imagine the satisfaction of telling your ex where to go.

He only wants to come back so he can regroup while planning his next night out & line up his next other woman. Don't let him use you like that. Find your strength!

No. Don't waste your time. He'll be off again in no time leaving you picking up the pieces.

@Coconutyellow05

Thanks everyone this is what I no deep down, I guess I’m just scared to go it alone financially more than anything - she lives very close as well so I still have to see this woman regularly and so does he - I need to get away I just need to find the strength to go ahead with it - I needed these answers today xx

I'm so sorry. I have struggled greatly financially since, as I have ended up bringing my daughter up alone, but i don't regret it. I had spent 7 years of my life being made to feel second best before I met her dad and swore I'd never to it again. And so I didn't. Is it hard? Absolutely. Does it hurt? Absolutely. But it was still the best decision I ever made. For my mental health if nothing else.

I can’t get over the fact I’m second best

The reason you're struggling with the decision is that you're not validating your own feelings. It's clear what you feel. I can’t get over the fact I’m second best It's clear you don't want to feel like that, and that you know that his behaviour has caused this feeling.

Why would you push the feeling to one side and try to carry on with a relationship where you felt like this? Why would you consider that that might be right for you, or for your children to grow up with?

Go through the pain and say no. The kids will be OK and you deserve better. You will never feel happy or enough again. I believe sometimes people make mistakes. They deserve another chance. But he really did one on you and its horrible.

Look at the reality. He only wants you back because she didn't want to keep him.

Big nope. He made his choice. Silly boy.

The kids want him back because they dont fully comprehend that he left so he could, simply, park his dick somewhere else.

He does think you are 2nd best. That's why you feel it

Being a single parent isn't easy. But it's so much better than being a parent as part of a couple when that person doesn't respect or love you.

I can promise you, when you have got over the initial heart break you will be stronger and glad you didn't get back with him.

Don't take him back!

he lied, cheated and disrespected you and did not give a single thought to breaking up is family as a result.

The only reason why he wants to come back is because this other woman did not want hum...

You deserve so much better than this.

Not a chance. Christ. Raise yours and your childrens bar. He's not good enough.