He liked me... now I like him

[Ivemessedup77]

A few years ago a friend told me they liked me. We were young, early 20s and immature. Mutual friends said they had liked me for a while. I didn’t know what I wanted so brushed it off.

We have become closer and I enjoy spending time with them and their company. We have both definitely grown up and matured.

Since then, friend has started a LTR with someone else. Uncomfortably I have realised that I’m starting to get feelings.

There’s nothing I can do is there.

You could just tell them

If he'd just started a relationship then I don't think it would be awful to put yourself out there and let him know how you feel - so long as it's without expectation.

However, if he's in a LTR, I wouldn't say anything - especially if he seems happy and settled.

It doesn't mean your ship has sailed, it just might mean now isn't the right time.

I think it’s a couple of years in!

I feel like the ship has definitely sailed as we are approaching late 20s...

What? Your ages have nothing to do with it. You can get into a serious relationship at any age.

His relationship is a couple of years in? I wouldn't say anything. Whatever feelings he may have had for you previously will pale in comparison to the deep emotional attachment he'll have to a LT partner. All their shared experiences and the intimacy will certainly trump a youthful crush. If he's ever single again then yes, you should say something (just make sure time has passed and you're not a rebound).

I think you need to take space if it makes you sad to see him with someone else. That won't be healthy for your self esteem and will stop you focusing on your own dating life. He is not the only man out there! Though it probably feels like it now.

So you are thinking about chasing after a person in a long term relationship. And you are hanging around them hoping for more. Maybe trying to create an emotional affair.

This is not the behaviour of a friend. Or of someone with self respect or morals.
Cut yourself off from them and focus your efforts on finding someone single. You could end up wasting your life.

You’re just jealous
Leave him be