Sorry its long! I’m almost 37, DH 39, we have a 2.5 yo. He works FT very much enjoys his job app, Me PT 6 mth ago working 3 days.
DH has never had much patience but it’s been worse since our DC was born, turned his world from how I see it upside down, many arguments, quick to anger & lose patience & sadly we had many many fall outs, it has until just recently been difficult. I’d describe him as quiet, more introverted, not hugely sociable which I’ve discovered more of since having DC & lately is asleep by 8.30, can’t cope with the rush/chaos when DC comes from nursery, has said he needs half hr to get his head together after work, not sure if this is normal, he does have a demanding job, doesn’t work shifts or wknds/no travel but busy 8-5 M-F managing around 12 people. He had to change jobs when on mat leave but is something he knew was coming 12 mths prior, his prev job didn’t seem to affect him at all but it’s hard to compare how if it would have done as left just after DC was born. He also took on an mba just before I had DC whicu annoyed me as his head was buried in this for a lot of spare time which I resented as it wasn’t a must he did it but he decided it was, I had many issues with self care as I had zero time to myself/no help from any family/friends, it resulted in many heated discussions. He has about 6 mth ago had issues with stomach diagnosed with bowel issue which isn’t helping his tiredness, it’s hereditary but signs were there prior to birth of DC. He has assured me many times he enjoys his job and doesn’t find it stressful, I actually think he prefers work Sometimes to home
I’m concerned about the coming changes wth DC, I looked forward to this for so long but uncertain about how it’ll be evenings when she’s awake later as gets older and when she wants to play whatever wii games or whatever for an hour or two, music on etc & needing lifts to clubs, can’t see him taking an avid interest, which is rubbish if that happened! Most nights I hear her being told to be quiet & this look of annoyance & some smiles but mostly like he’s just not really enjoying it although he says he does. I realised when on my own with DC it’s so chilled, minimal issues or arguments between me & her, she’s happy doing whatever as I’m quite relaxed. Things have to be in their place, in order, possibly why he’s good at his job, likes to be in control. I want to have friends round for tea after work/school at drop of a hat why not sometimes but he doesn’t kike to do things without prior knowledge and sometimes planning things isn’t that straight forward plus it sort of takes the fun out of life. I’m worried DC will have the fun side of her dampened somewhat and me. He doesn’t like if I play music loud in the house, will often come in and turn it down, we have no attached neighbours! He does the same in the car, I think I’m realising we are quite differnt but why I didn’t notice before!! Prob so busy working trying to get the house in order for baby I didn’t see things I should have!
Am I too old or left it too late to consider leaving to start afresh if I felt this was the right thing to do? It kills me idea of sharing my DC! There is no changing him, this is who he is, I don’t want to become pipe and slippers before my time! I’m holding on to what youth I have for as long as I can!
He has put so much in to where we now live & I wholly appreciate it it's a lovely area, not been here long but it's turned out very quiet, not as many neighbours as before or younger families in the street or close by, not a huge but it's safe. We have no local shop to nip to which I miss & our estate parks a bit crap, town is not great, prior we lived on an estate I preferred as had a shop, could walk to town & a few parks but it was regarded as worse area/schools but it was my home town but he hates it, Ive considered moving back but he is point blank refusing to even discuss. He also could drop a day himself but won’t, shrugs me off & says he enjoys his job, he must have stacks
Of leave as rarely see him off, mostly takes it off to study for the mba which is still going on 3 yrs later, just don’t know what to think atm…