Do women ever regret letting go of a good man?

[Oscar345]

Hi Im a male user of this forum, recently an ex got into contact with me. We just reminisced about old times and how things could have been if we stuck together. We both have regrets on both sides id like to think..

During the conversation she was mentioning how no one else compares to the feeling of love i gave her. Although i dont want to pursue this woman i just wanted to know if women genuinely regret letting good men go? She was the one who broke it off and often tried to reconnect but it was too late as i was over it.

And yes, @Maskless, your ex-boyfriend sounds like a complete nightmare, and you were absolutely right to end things. Better to be single than in a relationship with a controlling, jealous, suffocating nutter who made you feel as if you were under surveillance. Good call.

OP if she keeps getting in touch and is clearly interested then rather than stringing her along by reminiscing with her you should be clear that it is very much in the past for you and not something you're interested in pursuing.

She needs to know you're not interested so she can move on, don't be an arse and keep her dangling because you're enjoying the attention.

Yeah of course.
I have a few exes from my younger days on my Facebook and they have what looks like great lives and families.
They were good men but just not for me.

Yes of course it's possible for men and women to regret relationships finishing.

I ended a nice relationship with my young love. He was a 'good man' but I was bored and wanted to meet new people and have the chance for my life to go in a different direction. Ironically he ended up having a much more adventurous life (we are still in touch occasionally) but he wouldn't have done those things if we had stayed together. We are both happy and have good lives so no regrets. They are loads of good men and women out there and loads of potential relationships

I think it's pretty standard to miss your exes from time to time. It's easy to forget the dull stuff and all the reasons you split up, and to remember the exciting times with fondness and regret.

Many women are naive about how easy it is to find a man who excites them and also treats them respectfully. In our younger days we bin men who don't come up to scratch for whatever reason, but in later life those reasons can feel minor in retrospect.

I don't regret any of my breakups, not really. I know that if I rekindled with those guys it would soon fail. But I totally understand the nostalgia and the longing for feelings that are so hard to recreate in middle age.

My ex was a good man. We were together 7 years. He was lovely, kind, generous etc.
I don’t regret ending things with him, because fundamentally I didn’t love him. Our relationship was pleasant, that’s all.
I am now married to another good man, who I do love. No regrets.

Some women find nice men boring … particularly when in your 20’s. ( there are definitely women who go for bad boys). Once you’ve been through the mill a few times with a bad boy it’s easy to look back wistfully to the person who didn’t treat you like shit. I would assume she’s recently broken up with someone who didn’t treat her well.

@Divebar2021

Some women find nice men boring … particularly when in your 20’s. ( there are definitely women who go for bad boys). Once you’ve been through the mill a few times with a bad boy it’s easy to look back wistfully to the person who didn’t treat you like shit. I would assume she’s recently broken up with someone who didn’t treat her well.

But some nice men are objectively boring. Or dopey, unimaginative, or dreadful in bed, interested in entirely different things, terrible at managing their finances, or simply want completely different things out of life.

I mean 'nice' doesn't automatically vanquish all other characteristics.

I went out with an enormously nice man when I was a student -- he treated me well, was basically a kind and attentive person etc, but God, he was dull. I dumped him. He went on to patent something in his field (engineering) and is now a multi-millionaire, and I haven't the slightest regret, because what I remember is looking at him and thinking 'This man is simply never going to say or do anything that interests me.' He would never have made me happy.

Yes, they do.

My old friend was engaged to a lovely man and a guy where we worked caught her eye, she had a fling, ended the engagement and didn't last 5 minutes with fling guy.

Total madness.

Her lovely ex was done and wouldn't entertain her.
He met and martied a lovely woman and continued on in his super successful international career.
She never married and when we meet up every few years (different continents) she always mentions her regret over what happened.
She too is very successful, with a great LA lifestyle, but she definitely regrets her actions, as he was a really good man.

So yes, I do think people can have regrets, both sexes.

@Tal45 Its not that simple. We got on like a house on fire despite having ups and downs. One day after a small argument we never spoke to each other again. In every relationship you have the good and bad but with ours it was really healthy.

She got in touch recently after 2 years saying she still has feelings for me and experiences in her life have just led her to open up to me. I know her intentions aren’t bad ive met many women out there she has a pure heart but i dont know where im at with this.

@Subulter Haha! Some men are boring you are fully right in what you said some nice men are boring. For me personally having good banter and not taking yourself too seriously are two major characteristics i look for in a woman before i pursue things. With my ex it was something really organic the chemistry was off the charts. I think thats why she returns every so often.

Yes of course I'm sure some women do regret letting certain men go...but the thing is, after a break up and over time, we start remembering the good times, forgetting the shit bits and look back thinking things were better than they were.
Maybe a new relationship that goes tits up makes the ex look even better.

At the end of the day, break ups happen for a reason.

OP I suspect your ex got back in touch simply because nothing better had come along. If you had given her another chance she would have left again at some point so you definitely did the right thing.

Chin up, tits out, walk straight ahead......that's my mantra.

I imagine some do but most dont.

A “good man”, what is that exactly?
A guy that doesn’t beat the shit out of you and treats you like an actual human being?
Sounds to me like that should be the very basic thing in any relationship.

You say good man, I say women’s standards are too low, yet I have no idea why women tolerate it, it’s definitely to do with society.

What do you think a good man is op? How are you “good”?