Still miss him

[SnowyWinterDays]

I still miss a brief relationship I had that ended about a year ago now 😔

I haven't seen him in over a year or spoke to him in about 6 months but the last few weeks have been really tough. I keep dreaming about him which exascabates things.

I will never get in touch as he didn't treat me well and then just faded away. He would have no idea I'm still hung up on him so long after!

How on earth do I get him out of my head? I can see he was a coward who would never commit and I deserve better. I think I feel worse after dipping my toe back in OLD and no one matching up, it's making me miserable. I think he's got a new girlfriend now anyway.

I spend most of my day thinking about him 😔 and wanting him so much.

You can and will get over him. Were you ever happy? Think you like the idea and the ideal version of him.

In reality he didn't treat you well. Draw a line under his name.
Move on....💐

Is there any way you can talk to him?

Maybe you co up is both look at what attracted you to each other in the first place?

It might have been the wrong time for you both but a lot can happen in a year. Lockdown didn’t help anyone.

You’ll get lots of “better off without him” messages I expect but we all know how hard it is to find someone new. Maybe it was going to fast? Maybe you were in different minds. Love comes to us so infrequently so maybe just worth reconnecting. Even if it just puts your mind at ease and you realise that he isn’t right.

I'm in a broadly similar situation OP, missing someone who isn't coming back and who tbh didn't behave that brilliantly after a short relationship.

I wouldn't try and talk to this guy if he didn't treat you well and has a new GF. You'll only come out of that feeling worse.

Distraction is your friend here. Have you been going on other dates, doing things you enjoy etc or just swiping through OLD and everyone is coming up lacking in comparison?

I think pulling yourself up short when your mind does wander to him is helpful, rather than thinking about an increasingly idealised version of him and what may have been.

Also, if the above is true about your forays back onto OLD then why not give it a try more wholeheartedly, say one week on, two weeks off? Be extremely selective and only have one or two convos at once so you don't get overwhelmed and let things all fizzle out. Meet fairly quickly and see what happens?

You will get past this. These short relationships with promise are shite to get over but you'll get there.

I'm in exactly the same position, I very briefly dated someone last year he ended it as he wasn't in the right place for a relationship (aka he wasn't into me).
I've messaged him a couple of times over Christmas just to see if the door could be opened, but no joy.
The best and worst distraction is dating other guys, unfortunately none of them seem to ever match up to him.
I know I'll get bored of being upset about it soon enough, it's ok to feel upset, feelings are normal!

Thanks everyone. I guess I've been really beating myself up as logically it was only a brief relationship and I've not seen him in over a year so why I miss him and dream about him I don't know!

The way he was with me wasn't good so I don't think I should contact, especially as he has a new girlfriend.

I hate myself for still feeling like this after so long, maybe it's more normal than I think? I'd be really embarrassed for him to know 😕

Since he hurt me I just can't get enthusiastic about other men, I find myself terrified it could happen again so prefer to not bother. All the time whilst he's enjoying his new girlfriend.

I feel really stupid for feeling like this still.

“He didn’t treat me well”

Focus on that bit.

Winter is shit and the world has changed since CV so it’s affecting things. Your time will come.