Am I mad to throw it away?

[MarriedWrong1]

I'm 35M. I've made a sucession of terrible decisions and I really don't know what to do! I know I have made many errors along the way and I can see that in hindsight but it's now I don't know what to do!

I met my wife 10 years ago, I'm ashamed to say that I wasn't attracted to her physically but she was keen on me, she is very wealthy and this unfortunately appealed to me.

Over the last 10 years I've;

Had very infrequent sex but imagined someone else every time. I find I am always looking at other prospective partners and wondering

Worked shifts when she is free to avoid prolonged time together

Holidayed with Friends for the same reason

Got married due to family pressures (I thought this would help) at a registry office

All of the above interventions I thought would help but didn't.

I wasn't/am not desperately unhappy. Then I had an affair. Emotional only and as soon as I realised (the concept was new to me) I broke it off, I don't want to be that person.

Now I return to my wife and stable home, with no financial worries at all, nice dinners, group ski holidays. Though I feel something is missing. Do I throw away all this stability in the hope of finding something more? What else could I do to get the satisfaction I need from this relationship?

Basically, you're a bit of a twat and need to leave her so she can find someone who deserves her and will love her.

Don't think of it as throwing anything away. Think of it as releasing your wife from her marriage. It'll do her the world of good to split up.

I. Can't. Even....

If you have even one shred of respect for your wife you'll end the marriage, and you won't take any of her money along with you. Have some integrity, FFS.

Jesus. Your poor wife. What a waste of her time.

This cannot be real…

If it is, then yes. You tell her that you have been using her for her money all along. And you agree to divorce and leave her with her money.

You’ve had a decade of gold digging. Leave the woman alone and let her find someone with a heart and morals.

And stop painting yourself as the victim because your plan to use her for the lifestyle isn’t making you as happy as you hoped.

Horrible replies on here. Many, many women marry wealthy men for the security.
But you cannot continue. You don’t love your wife or fancy her. You want something else.
Well done on not having an affair.
But yes, leave her to find somebody else

@DSGR

Horrible replies on here. Many, many women marry wealthy men for the security. But you cannot continue. You don’t love your wife or fancy her. You want something else. Well done on not having an affair. But yes, leave her to find somebody else

Did you just congratulate someone on not having an affair?

@DSGR

Horrible replies on here. Many, many women marry wealthy men for the security. But you cannot continue. You don’t love your wife or fancy her. You want something else. Well done on not having an affair. But yes, leave her to find somebody else

Women who marry men purely for the ‘security’ and nothing else are also reprehensible.

@DSGR

Horrible replies on here. Many, many women marry wealthy men for the security. But you cannot continue. You don’t love your wife or fancy her. You want something else. Well done on not having an affair. But yes, leave her to find somebody else

And I'd say the same thing to them as well.

*DSGR

Horrible replies on here. Many, many women marry wealthy men for the security.
But you cannot continue. You don’t love your wife or fancy her. You want something else.
Well done on not having an affair.
But yes, leave her to find somebody else

Did you just congratulate someone on not having an affair?*

As I saw on a thread yesterday, the bar seems to be set at ankle height for a lot of men on MN

@DSGR

Horrible replies on here. Many, many women marry wealthy men for the security. But you cannot continue. You don’t love your wife or fancy her. You want something else. Well done on not having an affair. But yes, leave her to find somebody else

And if any woman came on here to say she actively avoids having sex with her husband because she finds him so unattractive and is only there for his money, she would get the same answers.

It's disgusting. That poor woman. She has invested in this man, emotionally, physically, financially and these are his true feelings?

Op you should leave immediately. You are hurting your wife and depriving her of a chance at real happiness. She probably knows you aren't attracted to her. What a way to erode someone's confidence and self esteem.

You need to end it - to give your poor wife a chance to find someone who actually loves her. You've treated her like shit, like a cash-point, you should really be ashamed of yourself. Start acting like a decent human being and let her go.

This post can't be real 😂

It’s not 1745. Women can and should take responsibility for themselves.

No one should be seeking out a partner for their money (and the lifestyle it affords) and pretending to love them to trick them into marrying you.

It’s awful that anyone would defend it.

Should I throw away my rich but unattractive wife's bank card so we can both find someone who deserves us?

Yes.

I wouldn’t think this is real apart from the way op totally ignores the idea that his wife might be a sentient being.

If I were you OP, I'd end the relationship as graciously and kindly as you can, get yourself settled as a single person and then seek a relationship which has potential; and that mean you have interests in common, you have mutual attraction and you're both ready and available for a long term relationship. Good luck with it.

Totally agree with this

The condescension is dripping with misogyny!!

Sorry was meant to quote @stappit

What about finding a hobby you both can share and try to rebuild your connection to each other. ?

@MarriedWrong1

I'm 35M. I've made a sucession of terrible decisions and I really don't know what to do! I know I have made many errors along the way and I can see that in hindsight but it's now I don't know what to do!

I met my wife 10 years ago, I'm ashamed to say that I wasn't attracted to her physically but she was keen on me, she is very wealthy and this unfortunately appealed to me.

Over the last 10 years I've;

Had very infrequent sex but imagined someone else every time. I find I am always looking at other prospective partners and wondering

Worked shifts when she is free to avoid prolonged time together

Holidayed with Friends for the same reason

Got married due to family pressures (I thought this would help) at a registry office

All of the above interventions I thought would help but didn't.

I wasn't/am not desperately unhappy. Then I had an affair. Emotional only and as soon as I realised (the concept was new to me) I broke it off, I don't want to be that person.

Now I return to my wife and stable home, with no financial worries at all, nice dinners, group ski holidays. Though I feel something is missing. Do I throw away all this stability in the hope of finding something more? What else could I do to get the satisfaction I need from this relationship?

I'm curious, what's wrong with spending time together ? Surely you get along well ?

I could have sworn that MNHQ wrote to me to say that this thread was being removed. #Snitch

The Big Red button yet to be presses Hollowtalk? Quick, lets talk about fings.

Cool story bro.