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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Strange friend- what to do?

3 replies

pixiepip · 24/12/2007 18:13

I haven't heard from a friend for a year now- last year I bumped into her in a shop before Christmas when I was getting over a really bad cold- I felt rough and really couldn't talk to anyone much- it was one of those "got to go shopping but don't feel like it" situations.
She apologised profusely to me for not having phoned me for ages, roughly a few months, and said she'd phone after Christmas. (This is last year). Well, I gave her a few months and nothing- so I left a message and then another- actually telling her that someone she knew had died, which I knew she wouldn't be aware of.

Nothing from her at all. I decided only to send her a Christmas card this year if she sent one- and she hasn't. I have bben dumped- but don't know wht. I feel bad because she gave me a lot of support when my son was younger and I hope she didn't feel miffed when I couldn't stop and talk to her last time we bumped into each other. I can't think of any other reason why she should dump me, but she is a very religious person and not the "bitchy" type at all, so it's very odd.

I know her from work- we were not really close friends, but saw each other 2-3 times a year, after I'd left my job.

I am wondering if I should write her a note, thanking her for the support she gave me when I needed it? But on the other hand, if she has dumped me, it might just seem like a "dig" at her, to contact her when she doesn't want to be in contact!

I know she's okay as we have another mutual friend, who sees her now and then.

OP posts:
Saturn74 · 24/12/2007 18:17

Time flies by, and people often intend to get in touch, but don't get around to it.

Why not give it one last try - send her a card inviting her to go round to your house for dinner?

Invite your other mutual friend too.

The ball is in her court then.

(but LOL at her not being bitchy because she is religious. In my experience, the two are far from mutually exclusive! )

mummyofaprincess · 24/12/2007 18:19

I think that would be a lovely idea

I have lost lots friends over the years and have missed them so much, it really is worth a try. Good luck x

Bocohohoho · 24/12/2007 18:24

It sounds like you're over thinking this and that she hasn't dumped you at all.

All sorts of things could have been going on in her life and you really don't know why she didn't call back.

I've been meaning to return two phone messages and several texts for weeks, - i haven't dumped anyone but i am a little bit preoccupied / vague / forgetful/ busy. She probably cringes every time she remembers she should have called and it's probably on a list somewhere. Try again, you obviously like her and you should give her another chance.

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