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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Tips for divorce

2 replies

unisurge · 10/01/2022 17:48

Hi there :)
My husband has been asking for a divorce for a while now. I don't really want one but he turned violent last night and my eldest son heard him calling me names and told me he doesn't think "dad is very nice to me" so I need to go.
A few problems I'd really appreciate advice with.....
Low self esteem- I have zero confidence and self worth. He's been putting me down for years and I'm left begging a horrible man to love me. He laughs at me or falls asleep when I cry and he doesn't txt back.
Practically.....how do you split the kids between you so you can work and earn enough to buy your own house. I only work two days a week I should get a decent deposit from our house selling but they won't lend me much on that so I need to go back full time.
Coping..... I'm so stressed out I can't talk, I find myself staring at walls. I can barely eat. I constantly feel sick. Why has this happened? I'm so gutted I've lost my family life. Holidays and special occasions together how do people do this?
Any tips to navigate this difficult time would be much appreciated or just some words of support or even someone going through a similar thing to know I'm not alone xxxx

OP posts:
Fairycake2 · 10/01/2022 22:20

So sorry you're going through this OP. Your husband sounds awful and you will definitely be better off without him in the long-run but I appreciate it doesn't feel like that at the moment.

I would suggest you get some legal advice about the practicalities. Many solicitors will give half an hour of advice for free.

Secondly I'd recommend counselling and reaching out to a friend or family member so you have some support in real life.

Good luck 💐

IwishICouldTurnBackTime · 11/01/2022 07:17

dad is very nice to me" so I need to go.

This bit stuck out for me. Why do you need to go if it's him that wants the divorce? What's stopping him from leaving?

I'm really sorry you're going through this OP, but please don't beg him to love you. He's abusing you and you're son can see it.

Find some inner strength and self respect and tell him to leave and also contact Women's Aid for advice.

Time to kick this pig into touch! You can live a much better life without him!

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