Really want a 3rd baby

[itchmyscratch]

Me and DH have 2 DC 4yo and 2yo. The past few months I've become so broody. Constantly thinking about having another baby.

The problem is I don't know if I could cope with a 3rd. I struggle with my mental health (depression, anxiety, PTSD - birth trauma.)

We have little to no help with childcare. DS4 is long term sick off school. So I have them both at home all day every day.

Everything is pointing to not having another. But why do I feel like this? The thought of not having another is heartbreaking. I'm only 27 and I feel too young to say I'll never have another baby but I honestly don't know if I could cope with another.

It's really getting me down. I wish this feeling of wanting another would go but it's so strong.

anyone else been in this situation?

Me! I totally understand. My situation is different in that I am 44 with a just turned three year old and an 18 month old. If I were younger then I think we'd have another one or two, but maybe wait a year or two. I couldn't handle another tiny one right now!

It's so hard knowing what to do isn't it. I've been thinking about waiting until they are older but don't want to finally get some freedom then go back the newborn days

Do you want another child or another baby- I’m definitely done at 2, but of course I’m sad to think never will I be pregnant or breastfeed again, love babies but do not want anymore children to care for.

You have time though :) I had my second at 27, I’m now 32 and pregnant with my 3rd and final. We wanted number 3 for years, always wanted 3, and that feeling never went so we went for it.

@OnlyFoolsnMothers that's a good point actually. when i think of another it's mainly being pregnant breastfeeding. my two dc want another sibling too

@WakeUpLockie congratulations 🥳 i thought the feeling might never go!

Can't speak for everyone, but if you enjoyed being pregnant and breastfeeding, I don't think you ever stop being broody. I've already got 3, they drain me, and yet I daydream about another, despite that being totally insane (fortunately I'm also too old to make that happen).
Just think about what it is you want from life, not just how you feel.
A third has been very bad for our marriage. It's hard to plan holidays. We don't really go anywhere spontaneously any more. Children's events seem to cost an insane fortune, and we are very limited in hotel stays and room setups for holidays. It can also be hard to visit family as they can't fit us all in. It's fantastic having a little crowd, but sometimes the chaos and the noise is just so overwhelming. And the shoe-buying, oh my God...

** The problem is I don't know if I could cope with a 3rd. I struggle with my mental health (depression, anxiety, PTSD - birth trauma.)

We have little to no help with childcare. DS4 is long term sick off school. So I have them both at home all day every day.**

^You would me crazy to bring another baby into this.

As has been said - if you want another baby, rather than another child, then it wouldn’t be fair. They’re babies for so little time compared to every other life stage, and it already sounds like there’s plenty on your plate without bringing another helpless human into the mix (not meaning to sound blunt).

I love having three and I don't really hold with this MN idea that you are collecting unnecessary duplicates once you have two . But you are young and I would recommend giving it a few more years between 2 and 3 to make sure this isn't a fleeting desire and by then you will have a clearer picture of whether you have enough resources to do it again.

Give it time. You can absolutely have a third. Just don't do it now, would be my advice. I think it would be hellish at the moment and a third right now, given your circumstances, would almost certainly bring more pressure to the family than anything else. There's time to have a third. Give it the year.
Your 4 year old's longterm sickness is a huge factor here and another baby right now would really interfere with her needs, which I hope are passing. May good and wonderful health soon return! And may you have your third blessing... when you're in a little bit more of a settled place.

I had a third. Other two are ages with yours. It’s been very hard, much harder than going to two. I don’t regret it but I do feel guilty of how little my oldest two have had of quality mum time as I had a difficult pregnancy and issues with baby feeding now with baby not sleeping! Our house isn’t big enough and it’s just been hard from beginning to now!! If you can focus on the two you have they are at such a great age. I will never get the summer of 2 and 4 back to play with kids outside and on the beach and it makes me sad, I had pgp and could hardly sit on floor to play with them never mind outings. Also the birth I hoped would heal the trauma of other too but that didn’t happen it was just another rubbish birth! However i was determined I wanted three.... the plus side is the big brothers love him and he is rather adorable 😍!

You’re younger than me and a gap might actually be nice as I feel o don’t have the time to spend properly with baby whereas if mine were at school then I would!

thank you ❤️ @TheVanguardSix

Yes I wanted to add something about the age gap. My 3 have big gaps and are super close. The thing that is really nice with a gap is that by the time you have say, number three in your case, you're more rested and recovered. You're not in total 'early years' meltdown. Say you have a third when DC2 is 4 and in nursery or reception, you get a bit of time to focus on the baby in peace. You'll have two children in school. It is really, really lovely, tbh not to have 3 small dictators fighting for every last cell inside your brain all at the same time while Cbeebies blares in the background.

Oh you're so welcome itchmyscratch!

Get a puppy.
The last thing you need is another baby.
You want something to nurture and care for, that will cry and whine and wear you out?
Get a puppy.

From what you've described, you'd be mad to have another baby now. Wait a few years if you're going to do it.

Oh, and what does your husband think of the idea?!