These were hugely useful when I was trying to figure out what was happening in my relationship 13 years ago.
Thanks to MN and the brilliant ladies on the Relationships board I learned to make sense of everything and in my own time I was able to make a decision. I have just realised there is no currently running thread so I wanted to start one.
Anybody is welcome. You can lurk or post. You don't have to be ready to leave or even know whether you want to leave. You might be questioning whether your relationship is normal. There is no pressure as it is all about your own understanding and at your own pace.
Some informational links to start off.
The Survivor's Handbook from Women's Aid:
www.womensaid.org.uk/the-survivors-handbook/
Lundy Bancroft Why Does He Do That (very useful book)
ia800108.us.archive.org/30/items/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/Lundy_Why-does-he-do-that.pdf
The Dominator vs The Friend: A comparison of unhealthy vs healthy relationships
greatbetleyfarmhouse.co.uk/the-dominator-vs-the-friend/
The Freedom Programme (which you can complete online or in person)
www.freedomprogramme.co.uk/
Baggage Reclaim - brilliant site teaching about boundaries and healthy relationships - just one example of a great article.
www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/revisited-cant-figure-out-whats-bothering-you-youve-normalised-treading-water-in-stress/
Every day I hear from readers who just can’t figure out what they feel, why they feel it, or even why it feels like a big deal even though it doesn’t seem like a big deal. One of the greatest examples of this is having doubts no matter how small that keep niggling, but that you just can’t put your finger on. Or even worse, having doubts that you can put your finger on but you keep ignoring or attributing to something else. In fact, you may not refer to them as doubts – you might call them ‘misgivings’, ‘insecurity’, low self-esteem, or even blame them on a past relationship or even a parent instead of on what is actually happening.
If I can find my old threads, I'll link to them, otherwise, I'll come back and tell my own story (if I start writing now I'll be here all night).