Boyfriend never compliments me !

[easyas]

Following on from an opposite thread, I wanted to ask your opinions on my boyfriends lack of compliments towards me regarding how I look.
In every other way he is so complimentary! He is attentive , affectionate and very loving. I feel like he adores me but he NEVER gives me a personal compliment about how I look eg if I got my hair styled/new dress etc.
He is not shallow and doesn't give a stuff about style himself as long as he feels
Comfortable but always scrubs up well. He has commented on the looks of certain tv personalities while we watch tv, in passing but only a handful of times.
He does compliment me on my smile all the time but that's it.
Am I being completely unrealistic
In my expectations here please?

Ask him, might turn out to be a harmless reason.

I did ask him.He said it's just the way he is ! Am I being unreasonable to expect compliments when I look well for an event for example? Is it superficial of me because he compliments me on my personality and various achievements. Perhaps I'm just not used to a man who seldom compliments.

To add, I'm 45 , don't live together and we are together two years.

Anyone else shed light on this or have similar experiences.
I'm beginning to get paranoid.
Thanks

Does he compliment your on your body / other physical features and let you know he finds you attractive more broadly? If so, I think the new clothes / hair thing is a bit of a niche ask.

I rarely notice when a woman’s had her hair done or is wearing a new dress, and I’m a woman who both gets her hair done and buys a lot of new dresses myself. It’s entirely possible it just doesn’t register with him.

Thanks @ComtesseDeSpair. Thinking about it , he will
Compliment me on my smile and eyes and maybe my skin being so smooth and then the boobs/ bum thing but generally, it's like he is uncomfortable saying... you look lovely this evening. Instead he will say.. oh you look so happy/ excited/ cold / tired if I am.
Am I being silly?

As long as he isn't complementing tv personalities in a way to make you feel insecure (narcissistic triangulation).

That being said, you've told him you'd like him to be a bit more complementary so he really should start making an effort to be now. If he just brushed you off, that's not good.

Thanks@Pinkbonbon. No he says things like, she looks really well or her hair suits her so much better now etc... random stuff but I do the same.
If I felt he was ogling tv stars regularly and not complimenting me, I'd pull him
Up on it Straight away. Tbh he strikes me as a man who just doesn't know how to compliment a woman. He is visibly uncomfortable doing that. It's weird .I feel that he is very attracted to me and we are physically attentive a lot.

I really don't think this is a big issue. Sounds like he values you for the right reasons.

I don’t find it easy to give compliments so probably come across same as your boyfriend does !
Doesn’t mean he doesn’t think it !?

Maybe that's it, I think you may be right!
He will compliment me on my personality, values for example and does this a lot but there's something stopping him saying a simple... you look lovely today... if I've made a change or an effort.

It sounds like you have a good relationship and he appreciates you for the right reasons. I’m sure you could train him to do it, but it would be false.

I would just accept him as he is. There is no point in getting compliments about your dress from something you know is just saying it because he knows you want him to.

I think some people are just like that. My husband is not much of a talker, does not compliment me, nor comment on anyone else. If I comment on something (usually positive) I never get much more than a one-word response. Other people will comment on my clothes or hair etc so I'm not totally invisible

I think your husband and my boyfriend are alike in that way! He has been fat shamed in the past and is conscious of his weight, even though he has lost the excess.

I've had a partner who never ever said anything nice to me. Nothing at all. No compliments on my appearance, personality or achievements. It was really weird. He used to send me messages as though he was texting a male friend, no kisses at the end, no cute good morning/goodnight texts. It definitely put me off him. If a man can't be bothered to at least occasionally tell me I look nice, am beautiful, or whatever then he's not the man for me. I want a man who makes an effort because I deserve that.

That sounds hard. I get compliments for absolutely everything else just how I look. I come across as being superficial
Don't I ?

Op - I think after years of telling men we aren’t objects for their enjoyment - men, at least some, took it to heart.
So he compliments everything else that matters about you as a person. Which is the message boys/men got for years.
If he is visually uncomfortable commenting on your appearance - why make him?
If you feel loved, and he is committed and makes you happy otherwise - I think you need to work on your need for external validation. He wouldn’t be with you if he didn’t find you attractive.

Yes thank you.