I'm reaching out to anyone who can give me some advise please. I'm a young 55 and have been married for 30 years, I've know my husband for 40 years and we have two amazing children aged 25 and 19. Over the years I feel like my husband has let us all down, he puts his love for alcohol over and above the love for his family, he has a very bad drinking habit and he doesn't handle alcohol well at all, he often gets paranoid and opiniated when he drinks and none of us can bear to be around him. We no longer have the same interests, he just want's to watch tv or listen to football in another room. We don't even watch tv together, if we go away on holiday he just goes for quiet life rather than because he wants to. I feel like I'm moving on as a person but he's regressing. He never gives me any compliments, he jokingly calls me fat which affects my self esteem. We both work full time but he does the bare minimum around the house.
It repulses me when he tries to be intimate and I prefer it when he's not around. He won't talk about our relationship and says I'm nagging and just walks away. I've reached a point where I don't think I can face another year of putting up with him but really need some advise. I don't know where to start when it comes to looking at divorce and am worried that I won't be able to afford anywhere nice to live if we do end it as at my age mortgage payments would be horrendous. Any help much appreciated.