I’m so confused…

[Spitspatspot]

With BF for two years and I just don’t know where I stand. We were friends for a little while before we started dating, and have friends in common who seem to think he’s a genuine guy, and certainly most of the time he seems to be.
We laugh together, he seems to want to spend a lot of time with me (see each other most days), and our kids all get on really well.
Here comes the ‘but’. I haven’t met his family properly - his dad and sister briefly, his mum not at all.
Meanwhile, he’s met me mum, brother, sister and some of my extended family, too.
Obviously, there’s been Covid to consider, but he vaguely mentioned them back at Easter time yet it hasn’t happened. I thought maybe over the Christmas might be different, but he didn’t even seem to think about it. (He chose to bring his children to mine on Christmas Day rather than spend it his parents and sister). There are other niggly things, but this in particular is starting to feel a bit…humiliating? I’m wondering if he’s ashamed of me of simply doesn’t see me as a long term prospect..?

Just him when are you going to introduce them…

You’re right, and I know it sounds daft, but I want him to WANT to do it rather than me having to ask 🤷🏼‍♀️

I had this for five years . There was always a good enough reason from him every time I asked .
But ultimately it’s because he didn’t see me as long term he didn’t want to involved his family with me

He think it’s just a casual thing so he doesn’t want to involve his family.

@Fidgety31 what made you put up with it for so long? Did you ever meet them? What about his friends?
@I0NA - that’s how it’s making me feel, it’s bizarre to me, though, that he has involved his children (we all went on holiday together in the summer, etc) if he doesn’t see us as long term

Lots and lots and lots of people have problematic relationships with their birth families.

What makes you rule out this as the cause?

@Spitspatspot I think because he always had a plausible reason and would fib me off with ‘next time’ or ‘soon’
I met them in passing a few times but was never properly introduced even though we all lived in the same town
I look back and wonder myself why on earth I put up with it . I guess ultimately because I loved him and believed he would makes things right eventually. But he obviously had other ideas

I never gave an ultimatum but tbh I wouldn’t tolerate This kind of situation again . They have a whole life you’re not part of . That’s not a real relationship

@Yummypumpkin makes a good point. Does it apply OP?

I'm in a similar situation but my DP just doesn't have a close relationship with his (overseas) birth family. It upset me for a while but then I realised it was far more meaningful to be forming a relationship with his kids.

Have you met his (non-mutual) friends? Are there other ways that he shows he's proud to be with you?

Is it possible he doesn't get on with his family and is protecting you?

But surely he would mention that if that was the issue? I don’t know it seems odd to me op

My husband is the only man who ever met my parents. Previous boyfriends didn’t and it was to do with my relationship with my parents, not the boyfriends.

Agree with previous posters. His existing relationship with his parents is crucial context here!

Apologies for the delay I coming back, had a busy weekend of DIY - of which BF has helped me almost non-stop.
Yesterday morning he nipped home for a while to get some tools, etc and - without having mentioned it - went to see his parents (if I’d known, I would’ve been tempted to say, “oh, shall I come and say hello?” 😏)
I don’t think there’s an issue between them - through lockdown BF, his sister & parents did all the Zoom quiz type stuff and they all speak / message pretty regularly - so I really don’t know 🤷🏼‍♀️
It’s his mum’s 70th in February so it will be interesting to see if I’m invited to whatever celebrations there are…

I think it depends on his relationship with them, I'd just ask him, he may not have considered it as important as you. He may put more onus on you being around his children.

It is a bit odd after two years to be honest, especially if they live nearby and they get on well.

Either he doesn't see you as a long term prospect or he might a difficult mother who did not get on with past girlfriends and he is trying to protect you from that.

Only way you will know is to have a conversation with him.

Also, why not take the initiative and say that you would like to organise a dinner and invite some of his family members, now that there are no Covid restriction to prevent that. See how he reacts....