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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Am i right to feel a bit disappointed?

12 replies

Mistysnow · 08/01/2022 14:39

Currently im self isolating with covid. Partner was with me when i tested positive and he should of technically stayed with me self isolating as he is unvaccinated. Instead he goes to work fair against my advice that he should be working from home anyway as he can and is a coivd contact. He works 7.30-10pm the next two days and then travels hoke the third day to his own family and he has his daughter now so fair enough (doesnt mean i think this is right as i said unvaccinated shouldnt of travelled anywhere but that is not my point here). I should add my partner and toddler had covid about 2 months ago, he ended up really ill and eventually in hospital, i was pretty much his personal nurse running after him buying him things, he lay in my bed for a week and i brought him up meals, hot water botles etc.
Meanwhile I now covid and have been really struggling looking after my toddler. He cant go to his dads as he also has covid. Toddler is negative and doesnt need to self isolate as under 18. I think i have just been struggling in general with the fatigue of the covid, trying to entertain a 2 year old, its been raining and snowing heavily so cant take him out in the garden not that theres anything to do out there anyway. I feel so tired, weak, headache and yet im up cooking, cleaning when i can, trying to look after my child and i feel like mentally and physically im struggling. He messages me today saying why dont u get a taxi into town sure and take him out for the day (i dont drive). I was lost for words. For some reason i found this really insensitive and stupid obviously i said i have covid, do u want me to go spreading it everywhere. Why didnt i think of telling u to just go into town sure when u werent well. He then says dont be mardy u know im always thinking about you. Im sorry but the way i feel currently sending ur thoughts are no good to me i feel like i need sleep, i keep breaking down crying as i feel like i cant cope with my own child now he doesnt understand im not well and little things drain me. He then says il call u later when u get ur head out of the woods.

All i wanted is a bit more support his side. I lifted and laid him for over a week bought him everything going vitamins, dinners etc i even bought him in takeaway the 2 nights he worked til past 10 as i was too tired to cook and knew hed be hungry. I dont know what u expect or how he can help but it would of been nice to have had a bit more support. He could of offered to stay i could of rested even if hed of ordered in food or something to help idk. Am i just emotionally and physically wrecked with covid and being too hard on him?

OP posts:
MissNothing1991 · 08/01/2022 14:42

Sorry, I'm confused. When you say he travelled home to his own family and has his daughter now... Do you mean a second family, or the likes of his parents etc.?

Mistysnow · 08/01/2022 14:46

To his parents he moved back in with them post divorce but stays in mine usually the first 3 days of the week as he works down here. Beginning to feel like a work convenience again. I just feel like when he got covid he stayed in mine he didnt want to go home as his mum is vulnerable whole family is unvaccinated. Now i have it hes no support at all and off away down home on his usual days. I feel hurt by it all isolation requirements or not he knows im struggling

OP posts:
MelonTits · 08/01/2022 14:47

He’s a twat with double standards

TheChip · 08/01/2022 14:48

Just because you looked after him when he was poorly doesn't mean that he should do the same for you. I know its shitty, and ideally he would have stayed and took care of you. But by the sounds of things, you're wanting him to look after your child and you and maybe that's just too big of an ask for him.

Fallagain · 08/01/2022 14:51

He clearly is a twat and who thinks he is more important than others. How long have you two been together?

Shamoo · 08/01/2022 14:51

He sounds like an absolute bellend, I’m afraid OP. Horrible attitude towards Covid compliance generally, and horrible attitude towards you.

Hope you feel better soon.

CloseYourEyesAndSee · 08/01/2022 14:52

So he's unvaccinated and potentially spreading covid around because he doesn't think the rules apply to him?
Why are you with such a twat?

Mistysnow · 08/01/2022 14:53

Perhaps it is. This is the guy that wants me to move in with him this year so leave my job and uproot my child (he lives an hour away from me). I just thought with him wanting the next step etc he would at least be showing me he can help out when its needed

OP posts:
MissNothing1991 · 08/01/2022 14:54

@Mistysnow

To his parents he moved back in with them post divorce but stays in mine usually the first 3 days of the week as he works down here. Beginning to feel like a work convenience again. I just feel like when he got covid he stayed in mine he didnt want to go home as his mum is vulnerable whole family is unvaccinated. Now i have it hes no support at all and off away down home on his usual days. I feel hurt by it all isolation requirements or not he knows im struggling
I understand now, sorry, clearly not had enough coffee today! Yes I wouldnt be very happy either, it's like something my ex would have done. I'd be seething. Don't think he is wise going near his daughter either as a close contact!
TheChip · 08/01/2022 14:58

@Mistysnow

Perhaps it is. This is the guy that wants me to move in with him this year so leave my job and uproot my child (he lives an hour away from me). I just thought with him wanting the next step etc he would at least be showing me he can help out when its needed
Well at least he has shown you what he has to offer before you took that step!
Badbaddog · 08/01/2022 14:59

If have dumped him long ago for being unvaccinated. The guy sounds stupid, selfish and a user to boot.

sunnyzweibrucken · 08/01/2022 15:15

He sounds like my ex. He would get horrible migraines every other month and I would drop everything to tend to him etc. and many times it was a huge inconvenience for me to do so but I did it because I cared about him. However whenever I got sick and asked for anything even a piece of toast he would tell me to wait while he played with his dd and I would wait an hours til I Finally had to drag myself out of bed with 102 degree fever and make my own. He never showed me any kind of empathy or care that I showed him during an illness.

Whatever you do don’t move leave your job and move in with him. He won’t change and he’s probably just wants yiu to move in for his convenience.

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