How did you know you had ADHD/Autism

[smileyemoji]

I'm posting this on the relationships thread because I thought there would be more traffic here. Anyway I'm curious about this as I was recently diagnosed with ADHD (I'm in my late 30's). For years I always felt different, struggled in friendships despite being friendly and kind to people but always seemed to be taken advantage of, for years I was misdiagnosed with anxiety and depression (which I had in part aswell) but I always knew there was more because I never responded to therapy or found medication of any benefit.
I also always had sensory issues and just found the world a very overwhelming place without understanding why for a long time.

While receiving a diagnosis of ADHD doesn't change who I am, I think it has changed my outlook on things and I am now a lot more compassionate with myself and know my own limitations. For years I beat myself up for things I wasn't able to or struggled to do.

How did you know that you had ADHD/Autism and do you think finding out has made a difference to your life?

I was diagnosed with ASD about 5 years ago. I had a long wait of 18 months from suspecting I (big waiting list)!

The biggest difference for me is how I see myself. Instead of criticising myself for trying to be “normal” and failing, I accept I am Autistic. I plan in down time when I have been busy. I have allowed myself to get things that help with my ASD like sensory toys. I have a sunflower lanyard which I wear if I know I’ll be in stressful situations. I have also managed to get some adjustments at work which help.

Not me but a friend was diagnosed with autism in his 40s. Changed his life for the better. He says everything made sense and he can now explain to others how he is. He also spends a lot of time educating others.

I find out like this...

Everyone: Your DD has ADHD
Me: She's just like me, she doesn't have ADHD

Repeat ad infinitum.

Then we went for diagnosis and oops, she has moderately severe ADHD following a diagnosis of being exactly like me in every way. It helps me process my younger life. And manage work.

I knew when I was 4 that I didn't fit. When I was 7 I remember congratulating myself for talking to more people, so they didn't think I was odd. As a teen I thought it may be better if I didn't have DCs because they may be the same as me, but struggle to hide it. I was fully in denial by early 30s when I had DCs. When my DS was 18 months he had a lack of focus and an independent streak that reminded me of the part of me I soften. His pre-school suggested he be assessed, then his primary. The SENCO explained ADD, and I knew it was from me. My dad is the same. My DS was on medication for 2years midway in primary, but it impacted his appetite so he stopped. He is learning to self-moderate and I'm helping him to learn how to manage his emotions (emotions and visual cues take our focus more than speech does).
It helps me problem solve at work though, as I can focus on multiple things.

Could i ask how you got a diagnosis as a adult? Was it taken seriously?

I think I may have autism but I have no idea where to start with it. My DP is the one that suggested it and after a bit of research it makes a lot of sense.

I'm very much the same as you @MrsTerryPratchett.

Dd was diagnosed 1.5 years ago at the age of 15.

Suddenly, my own childhood emotions and experiences make sense. I'm learning to be much kinder to myself! At some point I'll discuss assessment with my GP.

@smileyemoji. You have written word for word my experience of life with ADHD.

I read an article in a women's magazine about 17 years ago. A mum's story of realising she had ADHD while her young son was getting a diagnosis. She also could have been describing my experience of life. I highlighted all the parts that resonated and felt like I'd had a life-changing moment. However my then husband was 'unmoved' and disinterested when I shared this with him and life carried on and I didn't act on it. The magazine was put away and my life carried on as normal. Two years later, struggling in the wrong job, I came across the magazine in my car when having a badly disorganised day. To kill time I flipped through it. Came across the pages which had been near obliterated with yellow highlighter and annotations, including 'Who does this sound like???' in excited capitals and experienced the revelation afresh. In my typical ADHD way I'd completely forgotten about that moment two years prior. 😆 This time I acted on the knowledge.

Got to go leave for work now but just to say other posters' comments also resonate.

Laufeythejust I went to my GP with a list of traits and she agreed to refer me (I’ll be honest. She was skeptical and said “Well I don’t think you are, but if you really want me to, I’ll refer you” ) So I was referred to a local service. I completed a form and based on that they agreed I met the threshold to be assessed. I had a “DISCO” assessment where a trained Learning disability nurse asked me loads of questions (took about 3 hours!), put the answers into an algorithm and got my diagnosis.

I'm 58 and just diagnosed. Same as you treated for depression etc. Always being called weird . When I moved in with my very best friend Amd even she said o was weird I decided to investigate

Same as you, I was misdiagnosed with general depression and anxiety, but I always felt that diagnosis failed to encapsulate all my "symptoms" and my struggles.

I've always had a hard time making and keeping friends, I did terribly in school due to constant daydreaming despite how hard I'd try to force myself to just pay attention, I struggle with task paralysis and simple everyday things just seem to be so much harder for me than they should be (and for years I'd beat myself up, telling myself I'm just being lazy and making excuses).

I really realized I have ADHD when a friend of mine who's diagnosed started posting some very relatable memes on social media. I researched it further and suddenly everything just clicked into place and finally made sense.

I'm undiagnosed and untreated, but simply having the awareness has made such a difference. I'm in the process of learning to work with my ADHD rather than trying to force myself to be like everyone else, which never has and never will work. I have such a clearer understanding of how my brain works and why I am the way that I am.