What things give you an excuse to be rude to family?

[IDontKnowWhyAye]

Just wondering...
Obviously life events happen which causes emotions to run high but wondering if there's some sort of cultural eticate where you sort of "allow" rudeness and when it's not acceptable?

I'd forgive rudeness if it was out of character and there were mitigating factors. Anyone can behave out of character when under stress.

I don't think there's ever an excuse to be rude to family, there might be reasons behind someone's behaviour but I don't think it's excusable.

In as much as I don't think it can be lessened by attaching blame to a random excuse, but I do think you can understand the reasons behind the behaviour without just excusing them. Probably just me being picky with words, but I'm not sure if you catch my drift?

Dementia, brain tumour, uti, diabetic episode (?).

Sometimes family relationships are casual to the point of rudeness and in that case I think it's ok to be a bit rude back. I'm talking b about stuff like being late or refusing to join in with group activities.

If you're talking about insults or aggression then no, you shouldn't accept that from anyone.

@TheSandgroper

Dementia, brain tumour, uti, diabetic episode (?).

This. If it's medical and completely out of someone's control.

If they were rude first.

In my family it is the fact theyre family. Ive decided to point out my mum’s rudeness every time. She does not like that.

I don’t think I’d use the term excuse, but I’d forgive/understand someone being rude if it was a one off after something upsetting or difficult or if it was linked to a health issue.

Of course there is a limit. I wouldn’t accept thing like racism or violence etc.

We had a friend become unwell due to a mix of mental health and drug use, he was quite aggressive to my husband at one stage. We moved past it a little but when it reoccurred we distanced ourself from him. He was clearly unwell but we still couldn’t allow him to be abusive even if it was the result of illness.

Oh just to add I think some families end up with f upped dynamic where one person is allowed to be rude. My aunt is that person in our family. She will say awful things and her sibling will allow it. She was treated very differently by their parents in childhood so I think it’s just really ingrained in them to take it and not defend themselves.

Interestingly she won’t be rude to be…..and isn’t rude to other people who would bite back. Like she has a sense of who she can belittle and who she can’t.