DS not coming out of his shell at all, very shy

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DS not making friends - when I pick him up, he is always standing on his own onlooking the other children playing.

He is very confident at home.. when he gets home he seems frustrated..

How do I get him to come out of his shell in that environment given that I'm not there?

Thanks x

Does he do any after school or weekend hobbies? How old is he?

How old is he? Huge difference between whether he's 2 or 10

Sorry should have said!

He is age 3 (turned 3 in October) he doesn't have siblings and we don't have many people over - he grew up in lockdown and seems to
Freeze around a lot of people.. his nursery is quite busy..

We used to do lots of groups when he was younger but now it's only nursery..

Anything I can do to help him?

My son was like this when he was little. Every day I'd pick him up from nursery and he would be playing by himself. I was really worried about it, but when he went to school he was a lot better, and seemed to make friends a lot easier. He's naturally very introverted and a real home body, and even at 20, he is still a bit awkward around people he doesn't know. I wouldn't worry too much about it now as he's still so young.

Oh he’s so young op - don’t worry. It’s probably his natural inclination to be quiet and not in the middle of things but he’ll find his feet. He could end up being one of those people with a small tight circle of friends and doesn’t need to be an extrovert. Monitor it, don’t push him or make him uncomfortable but gently help him find a little pal or two. Talk to him about how to chat to other kids but don’t be pushy. He’s very young so try not to fret.

Thanks everyone!!

@Whatsdamatta thanks for encouraging words.. it's just a bit sad to see him on his own onlooking without getting involved:/ he is still very young as you say..

I guess I should still be taking him to things like soft play so I can help him interact a bit..

I'd hoped the nursery staff would have done that too.. maybe I'll ask them..x

It is sad to see your child alone in the playground and it's natural to worry but at three it's really really normal OP!

They don't really have proper "friends" at that age. Most just parallel play. Another year or two will make a big difference. Just keep exposing him to new places/people, with you there with him initially so he's not thrown in the deep end and his confidence will grow. He'll be fine!

Let him be but don’t put too much pressure on him. It’s hard for parents to accept their child’s inherent nature. My DS wasn’t at all social at that age and was quite cautious and anxious, and I worried too. He was an observer. He’s now the most confident, kind, and articulate 11 year old; bears little resemblance to his earlier years as he’s grown into himself. I couldn’t have envisaged that at 3. Some kids are naturally shy throughout.