Limerence Ending. What now.

[Spongebobsmartypants]

I have suffered limerence for over a year and a half. Nothing happened physically or by him emotionally but i was obsessed, more in my own head than anything else. Luckily this has now came to an end, although i still like this person and respect him, the overwhelming emotions have gone.
I cannot cut this person completely out of my life, so how do i now deal with the shame of what i felt, some of my actions and now slowly distancing myself to a safe level without him realising or being hurt.

Find a good counsellor. Talk it through with them. Look for a private one rather than an endless wait on the NHS. It'll be worth the money.

I have been getting counselling which is helping but its just facing this person and realigning the relationship that is difficult

You don't need counselling for this surely.

Just shrug your shoulders and move on.

But i still need to see him and at times i was a bit overboard with how often i contacted him or found my way into his company. He was and is nothing but a kind guy who had no real idea. But now i need to reduce the contact to as and when but am worried he will be offended or think he has did something wrong. He hasnt

I dont need help with limerance just the aftermath to cause minimal damage

Do you really 'need' to see him? Is it work related? I would cut down contact and when you are in contact make some breezy remark about how you've been so so busy since new year. He will probably be more concerned with his own issues anyway.

Yes i need to see him and your right, he probably wont even notice. I have deleted social media that i used so its not just him and have changed my mobile number and not passed on my new number. I need to see him once or twice weekly .

I just feel so so stupid as in the real world hes not my type and i am certainly not his. I was just going through a really difficult time and he helped me through and wham it was like a lighting bolt of stupidity hit. Luckily not stupid enough to Try anything but my head was mush.

I've been in this situation. I behaved like an absolute lunatic..I think it's impossible to understand unless you've been in this situation. I can't cut the person out of my life completely as we're part of the same social circle but I'm just friendly if they contact me and I don't instigate any contact otherwise. It's hard though and I messed up what was initially a good friendship, which makes me really sad.

I have genuinely done a lot of work and amin a good place i just dont want to make this person feel bad by my sudden coolness towards them.

@hannahbeth thank you so much. This is exactly it. Ihave ruined a very very good friendship and i genuinely cant believe the person i have been the last while.

You say you have been contacting him too much, is this the reason you wish to distance yourself.

Is he with someone and they have found out your interest in him?

You're welcome ;) At the end of the day, I had to try and put my mental health first and if that meant minimising contact even if it meant the other person feeling hurt and confused then so be it. That probably sounds a bit glib and flippant written down but it took me a LONG time to get to that point and I was an absolute mess for years...almost suicidal at times.

@Onthedunes i wish to distance myself for my own mental wellbeing. I cannot go back to that place.

@hannahbeth thank you for understanding. Its such a dark place to be and if you haven't suffered it, its very hard to explain. I cannot go backto that place which means i need to keep that emotional distance

@hannahbeth i am so sorry you went through this and am glad yourin a better place. Just keep going

@Spongebobsmartypants DM me any time! ;) Always happy to chat x

And thank you ;)