Have I been out of order?

[CallMePsychic]

DH parents live abroad. They came over to visit everyone at Christmas. DH booked tickets for the darts match in London, I have an elderly father and we have a newborn baby and I begged him not to go saying it wasn't safe as things are. He went anyway with his dad and low and behold 4 days later his dad has tested positive. I text DH as I was out when he told me and I said it was selfish that they went when we have kids and I told him not to go and that it was selfish his parents even came over at all with things as they are. I know that was out of order but I'm just so mad.
I came to get the kids and some stuff so I could go to my parents and his parents jumped down my throat shouting at me saying they are not selfish I'm the selfish one and how do I know I haven't brought it to the house from shopping, they bent over backwards for me(?) but now I can fuck off, I'm all for my parents, they didn't come to see me anyway they came to see my husband and the kids! My eldest isn't bothered about seeing them anyway as he barely knows or sees them.
I think this is the nail in the coffin for our marriage. And now I can't go back to my own house for at least 7 days and especially with a newborn I probably won't go back for longer than that. I don't want to see his parents again after tonight.
Am I out of order to be pissed off?

@ravenmum what do you mean?

Your husband making you out to be the baddy by deliberately stirring things up. He doesn't sound like he's on your side at all. If you continue to make this about his parents then you're just giving him a bigger stick to beat you with.

OP you are not out of order, quite the opposite. Your instinct is to protect your family, it should be your Dh's as well but it turns out the darts is more important.

Choices to be made but I would be very upset indeed and would not be shy in telling my DH and his deluded parents

@WineThenMisletoe do you think so?

@CallMePsychic

I don’t think that you were wrong In fact your H is wrong.

As an aside, I think if you linked your previous thread people would understand how awful he and his parents are.

The covid thing is really subjective. People feel very differently about it. Some are living life as normal while others are still really frightened. Your dh was wrong to totally ignore your wishes but I don't personally think he was wrong for wanting to go to the darts with his dad.

Your in laws were wrong to shout and abuse you in your own home. That relationship doesn't sound salvageable.

Overall I think there was fault on both sides but I feel for you having effectively been chucked out of your own home for a week or more with a newborn. That's very unfair.

I also think that YANBU op, I would feel the same with a new born.
Sounds like having a good time regardless of covid is more important to them.

I think your marriage is over

Yes I think you were in the wrong, some people have posted about awful things you have said about your husband and parents but based on this thread alone, yes you were unreasonable.

We need to stop these witch hunts amongst families over who got it first, yes actually it might have been you whilst shopping or at baby group or whatever. So what, we need to live with it now. Clearly you started that unpleasantness.

And I don’t think you adding that you were crying and begging changes that. This is your anxiety to be dealt with and the solution isn’t forbidding your family to leave the house.