Not sure where to put this but need some advice

[Chilimama]

I have just got one hell of a shock.

I got a letter this morning from Social Services addressed to me and my dh informing us that they had an anonymous call regarding concerns about the way we treat our ds (my son from a previous relationship).

The biggest clue to who it could have been from is the fact they called ds by his birth surname in the letter (My ex's surname, his so called father) and not by our surname which was changed by deed poll 3 yrs ago and is the name he uses for school, passport, doctors, official documents and child benefit/tax credits.

The only people I can think of who would use his old name id his biological father and his toxic family.

Considering we moved home to escape his violence and harrassment I am pretty angry and upset. I can't believe he would stoop so low especially at Christmas

So now we have a social worker doing a home visit in January to check on ds. Funny how we have been asking social services for help and they refused much to ds psychotherapist's disapointment (he thinks ds needs more help than he can offer due to him witnessing his biological dad beating the crap out of me and then getting absued physically himself by him). Yet the minute some twat decides to cause trouble they can't get round here fast enough.

Hopefully it will work in our favour, and will get us some help. But I am still really worried. What happens at these meetings?

MIL was a social worker and is going to come along to the meeting for support which is a relief but I am so upset and angry as it has surely been done out of spite. Anyone can see how loved and happy our 3 dc's are.

I really didn't need anymore crap but yet again they have given us a load of trouble because ds won't see them (he is too scared) for the past 3 years.

Can anyone tell me what will happen or offer any advice? I'm going out of my mind right now

I know a couple of people who were also reported maliciously (sp) and the social workers basically told them they have to investigate but that there were able to see straight through the complaint. Please try not to worry.

I think that the fact it's being left until January shows you that they are not treating it urgently.

Your DS needs all the help he can get. My GNephew is still suffering from much the same issues as your DS.

You have nothing to worry about! Chin UP!!

{{{{Hug}}}}}

It is definitely not on their urgent file.

I had a letter from them and managed to get out of them that it was my ex who made the complaint. Told them the truth (not his version!) and they closed the file. They didn't come to see me though...

Could a positive spin be put on this in that the SWs will now see how traumatised your DS is and he will get the help he needs and deserves?

Try to not let it ruin your Christmas - you know they are well cared for and loved; SS will see that.

While they have to investigate a complaint, I think they will then note that you have been the subject of a malicious allegation and ignore any future allegations from your XP and his family. And, as Lewisfan says, maybe this will help you get the help you actually need for your DS.

The home assessment isn't too bad. I have had one done for other reasons. The social worker came in and asked obvious questions, they watched while my kids played and made notes on how I interacted with them. She asked if there were any difficulties with any relationships I had and if there was anything that may be upsetting the children. If they were waking in the night from nightmare, wetting the bed, if they were overly clingy, tearful or aggressive with other children etc.

They probably won't tell you who made the phonecall because of confidentiality issues. Ask them what the person has been saying and what proof they have.

Why not call them on Monday morning for some reassurance?

So they came round today, a really nice man who gave us some great advice and left saying he was totally happy we are loving parents and he is not concerned about ds's wellbeing.

He told us the date the call was made and what was said and I am in no doubt who made the call, a so called best friend of mine who has not contacted me since the weekend before we got the letter which is very unusual for her.

I am so shocked and upset but glad it is over and social services are happy. The social worker offered us some really good advice about my ex and what to do for the best for Harry and is going to stay in touch for a few weeks while we try and get some more help for his behaviour with his psychotherapists help.

With friends like that who needs enemies?

Spieful bitch

Nice friend you have .

Glad everything worked out in the end. Only just read your story.