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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Anyone else living in this utter madness ??

4 replies

Hopeful22 · 03/01/2022 20:06

Of being separated but still living under same roof ?!
It's absolute torture. With a very hostile toxic ex , literally breathing the same air is difficult.

There will be no change to these living arrangements until we get to court which could be 18 months away...
Just wanted to swap stories/encourage each other to keep going , any help , advice, tips, positive stories? I feel like this nightmare will never end ....

OP posts:
AttilaTheMeerkat · 03/01/2022 20:16

Are you married to this man?.

What is the situation re the property?. Are you named on a mortgage document or rental agreement if it’s rented? Why can there be no apparent change in living arrangements till you get to court?. Have you taken legal advice re your current situation?.

Original poster
Hopeful22 · 03/01/2022 21:11

I'm living in Ireland firstly...but yeah it's a long story , we are married, both names on the mortgage. But he has been emotionally and financially abusive for years, since I had our first child 8 years ago.
I have a solicitor but unfortunately it being the family home he has as much right as i have to stay there. He could do the right thing for the kids and move back to his parents or get back into his co owned apartment but he won't, he wants to make life as miserable for me as possible. All the way using the kids are pawns in this toxic game ...
I will have to wait for a court order that the judge gives to order him to leave the house, hopefully.

It's just such a draining experience, I feel like I'm living in a madhouse sometimes. Trying to keep my shit together for the kids all the while he is swanning around singing and whistling to himself.
I know it will end but I m trying to cope as best I can til then

OP posts:
user15364596354862 · 03/01/2022 21:12

And your solicitor is aware this is a DV situation?

Original poster
Hopeful22 · 03/01/2022 21:45

She is gathering all the evidence I can give her ...in Ireland you can't file for a judicial seperation until you are a year living " separately " under 1 roof.
I'm giving her as much as I can , all written , he is a narcissist so we are no contact only through text but it is horrendous the atmosphere and he almost seems to revel in it

OP posts:
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